Caminos hacen amigos
Caminos hacen amigos

By the Self Appointed Racing Santander Global Correspondent in Posh Oldham English. We apologise before hand if anyone takes offence. The interpretation of reported truths sometimes hurt.

2014 - 2015 season

Posted on 22/08/2014.


2B or not 2B. Couldn’t Run a Piss Up in a Brewery Department.

Well what a summer of suited and booted office orientated football. Never seen the likes.

First of all Racing and Murcia were sent back down to 2B for failing to comply with income tax and social security repayments. Racing’s bill currently stands at €9.8 million.

Then the local politicians (PP) this end pulled a few mooring ropes and hey presto Racing were sent back to the best 2nd division in the world and Murcia stayed relegated 2B replaced by Mirandés. This led to demonstrations in Murcia and eventually both were allowed to play in the league meaning there would be 23 teams meaning every jornada somebody will have no game. It also led to the beginning of the season being cancelled indefinitely. What a good way to start.

This row went overboard on the 18th of August when the relevant organisations - FEP, LFP, RFFE, POP, PLOP, FLOP, FOP, FIFF/FAFF and LOP OFF met in Madrid for hours. What a day. This kind of meeting could only have happened due to the invention of air conditioning.

The decisions taken at The Football Season in One Day went:
1. Murcia down – Mirandès up.
2. Mirandés and Murcia both up making a league of 23 teams, again.
3. Murcia up - Mirandés down.
4. Murcia down – Mirandés up. The final decision.

What a complete joke. The only people who needed to get stuck in were the castration crew (LOP OFF).

Just look at the size of the table at the AFE meeting in Madrid the following day.

The good news is that the league is now back on. The bad news Racing’s first home game is next Saturday against Mirandés and kicks off at 23:00. That’s a fine way of knocking 5000 off the crowd. What a good idea. At the moment season ticket sales are just a touch under 9,000.

My season ticket cost €1 less than last year at €88. 15% discount for serious long term suffering plus an extra 5% or a free round trip with Ryanair to any of the exotic locations they fly to from Santander. I took the discount. 
No cup games are included this season as Racing have been booted out of the cup because of refusing to play against La Real in last season’s ¼ final. This is a shame really what with the JuanCar Cup being replaced by the FlippyCup.

Season prediction (I’ve been right the last 3 seasons- relegation, relegation and promotion) so the 101ers are going back up to the best 1st division in the world from an 99th minute own goal in the play-off final against Sporting.

Revelations Department.
The supreme court finally came out with the amount of tax payers money Gobby Revilla pumped into the club during his time as regional president. €36,000,000.
Next time he's on the telly somebody should ask him about this.



Oh, The Grand old Duke of Huesca,
He had ten thousand men;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down,
And when they were only half-way up,
They were neither up nor down.

Sing a song of a few million €uros,
And pockets full of holes.
Four and twenty board directors,
Baking a pie for themselves,
When the pie was opened,
The fans began to sing;
Where's the bloody money gone,
Lets invade the palco during a kings cup game

The king was in his counting house,
Counting out his money;
1 for you the rest for me
The queen was in the parlour,
Trying on her new shiny shoes,.
The maid was in the garden,
Hanging out the dirty linen,
When down came a false Sugar Daddy
And jipped the bleedin lot of em....

Posted on 28/05/2014

2B or not 2B.

The Sardinero's buzzing and packed to the rafters (21,000) Department.

At precisely 6.55pm on Sunday evening I took up a front row empty seat in the top tier north stand for the next to last time this season which was more or less the same time the politicians up in the palco did. Now the last time that happened back in the hazy days of early February they got some serious grief. "politicos fuera del sardinero." This time it started up again only 2B muffled out by the megaphone armed cheerleader and 2 heavies. SShhhhhoooosh follwed by calming hand signals,fingers on lips etc. It all went quiet. WTF.

Back to square one Department.
Later that night whilst sulking in a town centre bar when everyone was celebrating promotion outside the town hall I got the answer from a seriously long term Racinguista "subvenciones amigo."

Might as well take the 'n' out of nitty and the 'g' out of gritty Department.
It was seriously hard to recognise the sport on show. It it hadn't been for that ball looping through the air you would have been hard pushed to guess what was going on. Shoot the pigeon? 
So maybe it was fitting the deciding KO game in the best 2B league in the world was settled by an own goal in the 87th minute. Coincidence? 23 years ago when Racing last won promotion back into the best 2nd division in the world the game was settled by, you guessed it, an own goal in Getafe in the 89th minute.

The 101ers have scored 4 goals in over 720 minutes of football. One double pirouette back ward flip penalty decision (3 points), a duffed toe poke (1 point), a complete team rush it in (1 point) and Sundays top corner glancing header from Llagostera's centre forward at the wrong end. Aggregate over two legs: 1-0. 
Exciting stuff.

One final bread winner Department 
The lads now play Albacete in the champions of 2B KO competitions play off showdown. First up HQ this weekend with the away leg the following Sunday so the trophy will probably be presented in early October to some club representative in Lepe from a kite surfing bull fighter.


Posted on 19/05/2014

2B in 2B or not 2B.

Department of Gespa Artificial-it's all in the funny bounce sub division.

Typical drab plastic pitch 1st leg national 2B first part play off to try and make a serious effort at becoming broke before winning promotion only to find you get relegated, team bus impounded, recently won trophy confiscated, club assets seized yet again, fan's blamed and all that just before fed suits shoot off to their Brazilian beach of choice to bronze delicate parts of the body instead of presenting league trophies to the relevant victorious team at this winning divisions/promotions time of year.

Department of 1st Leg 0-0 draws.
Blow it next Sunday and it must be The End of Racinguismo as we know it, win and we want to see a big cup presented on the pitch by a fed suit followed by turning on the water heating facilities at all the local fountains that posses an up to date EN Clean Bathing Certificate. 
Or just maybe the accountants want to run out the secondary qualification rounds thus guaranteeing 2 more home games before finally folding. 
The 101ers have lost their touch. Too many games being nice to the opposition.

Back To Proper Spanish Time KO Department.
Roll up, Roll up. Next Sunday evening at 19:00 (an hour earlier in the Canary Isles). Just like the good old days. Someone on the radio mentioned a full house expected next weekend. 
Ahhh that's when we'll see the true colours of the local population getting behind their local club.

Aupa Racing.


Posted on 12/05/2014

2B in at the deep end or not 2B.

Well there's nothing like a mid Monday morning press conference to get you pumped up for the week. What a disaster.
This should have taken place in the first week of February a few days after taking over the club. Why wait so long?
Instead certain people were too busy trying to get a foot in the door and the internal squabbling and stupid comments to the press made for a typical cock up. In the minds of the public they blew it way back then.

Accounting Department.
Instead of the previously announced €1 million needed the club now needs €1.6 million before the end of June. So far they have raised €140,000. That's not going well at all. The players and staff are still owed 5 months wages although one month was paid on Friday. Them debts are racking up. It was also revealed that Mr Lavin's time at the helm (18 months) has left a black hole of around €5 million. Thanks Harry.

It's hard not to feel sorry for the new president Tuto Sañudo who does come across as a person with the clubs interests at heart. An ex player who earned slightly more than the average wage at the time but has been unable to stop all sorts of folk trying to jump on the gravy train but soon jumped off when they realised the gravy jug was empty.

The re-financing of the club starts in June as well. They hope to raise €4.5 million. Good luck with that.

Not so Nitty Gritty Anymore Department.
The last game of the league season ended 1-1 in front of 800 people in Vigo. Damp squid. Now we have the play offs to look forward to.

Hot off the press (just this minute)
Racing drew Llagostera (Girona). The 1st leg is away on the plastic pitch (gespa artificial) next weekend followed by the return leg at HQ on May 25th.

Come on lads one final push start for the battle bus.

Broom, broom.


Posted on 05/05/2014

2B on board or not 2B.

Well it's not every day you get out of bed and the team you support is on the brink of being crowned league champions. What a feeling.
So instead of doing my usual morning coastal jog I re-routed and visited all the fountains around town to check out the water temperature and quality. Its amazing what people throw out of car windows whilst driving around roundabouts. There were plenty of soft drinks cans, empty cigarette packets, loads of used condoms (the mind boggles) and even a dead pigeon with a bloated club foot.

The water was fermentationalisticly tepid due to the algae influenced global warming and cut backs in fountain maintenance. Now I know why my fluorescent green wet suit fell to pieces. That stuff's toxic. Apparently it's very good for removing chewing gum from loose street paving tiles which could be re-cycled into glue to re-stick them. SmartTec.

Just Cause Department.
Well they we're queuing up outside the ground. You had the needy children in Santo Domingo, the donations to the food bank and the plastic bottle top collectors in aid ofLucas Diego
Even Revilla auctioned of his clogs for a rowing club.

Band wagon jumping department
So I set up my milk churn down a side street with a eco friendly sign. "English. Sick of work. Fancies an easy life. All contributions welcome." Made a right killing and not a child beggar in sight. 
The teenage club lottery ticket sales lads were out in force though. €10 a pop and apparently the club have printed 100,000 tickets. They didn't sell many yesterday.

Not so nitty grtty any more department.
Yet another decaffeinated game. What is going on. Mind you the 101ers scored a goal from open play for the first time in 428 minutes and then went and missed a penalty. The basics are gone like looking to make a pass and trapping the ball. Play like that in the play off and they're not going anywhere. It ended a stale bread 1-1. The crowd was just over 10,000 which is a poor show for the last home game of the season.
Apparently a local carpenter has been commissioned to add an extension to the trophy cabinet. The first one in 23 years and that was the 2B winners cup. Hope they make room for next season's 3rd division cup. 
Only in Spain can you spend all but 4 jornadas out of the top 4 and 21 jornadas top, win the league and still get relegated.

The president and his mate managed to even make it onto last nights Salvados. That's 2 of the 30 or so members that have been on the board during this season and the club press spokesman has been missing for the last 2 weeks as have most of the others.

What a team, what a club, what a league, what a season, what a town, what a country, what a sport.


Posted on 28/04/2014

2B well confused or not 2B.

What a way to start off the week. A nice lovey dovey letter to the small club friendly Mr.¿Te Vas? asking him 2B lenient with the club when it comes to the end of the season financial ruin showdown and the consequent relegation to the 3rd division.

Now where are those ex crest kissing players that earned millions in their careers first as a teenager stars, then signing for a "bigger" club and after that coming back home to retire, whilst busily throwing themselves on the floor at any given opportunity and earning between 1 to 2 million euros per annum after tax. WHERE ARE YOU?

Next up. The politicians are back in the picture all smiles and nice words. No more public money is going to the club as it would cause an uproar after Revilla's stint at the helm pumping tax payers money into the club under the disguise of cultural activities to the tune of a reported €7 million. 
Politicians out of Racing for once and all.

Not so nitty grtty any more Department.
Just when the 101ers should be dispatching rivals with no mercy shown they seem to have become a charity organisation. After two nil nils on the trot to local friendly rivals the lads have forgotten what its like to score. That's 2 goals in the last 4 games and both penalties. Yesterday away against UD Logroñes they played against 10 men for 60 minutes. The ref could have sent anyone of instead of their goalie whose only save all game was stopping the soap going down the plug hole during his early bath. His replacement read the match programme.

Blow this and the drip by drip money input will dry up. 2 games to go and they only need a point to become champions.

Oh dear Department.
What happened in Oviedo yesterday?

A seriously deflated Olé.

Posted on 21/04/2014

2B confused or not 2B.

The fund raising continues.
Anybody interested in donating money to the club will get up to 40% tax relief on the amount they give. Loads of regional government organisations are all meeting madly to try and get in on the cash flow. Will any of it ever filter through to the club?

Now here's a cracking idea. For €10 any Tom, Dick or Harry can enter the lottery for a VIP palco seat or 1 of 10 free seats for all of next season. Just in case I am not going into the hat as I wouldn't last 2 minutes in the prawn buttie munching zone. Probably get turfed out for smuggling in meat pies.
What is it with public speaking these days everybody has started humming and erring. The PP politicians are especially bad but it seems to be spreading to other sectors.

Nitty Gritty Department.
I was eagerly looking forward to talking to the child turnstile beggar at Thursdays game but there wasn't one. So when I asked the sunflower seed seller where they where he replied out side in the street. Knocking up tourists for donations now. That must give an amazing image of the affluent Santanderino society.

tropezar - to trip up

Well Tropezon have took serial diving into a whole new era. Its involves a vertical jump jet lift off and whilst he's flying through the air he calmly does his hair for the picture, waves to family/friends in the crowd and when he finally comes out of orbit and starts his decent he comments to the ref what a fine job he's doing and admires his mother's latest tax declaration before politely appealing for a penalty/foul and at least a yellow card. Then as he touches down he lets out an ear piercing scream and some kind of ligament popping sound before doing the best bit of roly poly you will ever see. The only player who didn't dive was their goalkeeper. 
Needless to say it ended 0-0. 
Regional "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" derbies.

Less than 10,000 halo wearers. Crowds are dropping quicker than descending Tropezon players. 
One fan actually passed out in the 1st half and had to be attended to by the ambulance brigade. When I asked one of them later what was the problem he said. "Too much white wine at dinner time." 
It doesn't mix well with warm spring sunshine.

Still 5 points clear at the top and only 3 games to go. Excellent result for Oviedo yesterday winning away in Ferrol and moving back into the top 4 but have only 2 games remaining. That last jornada could be tense as they don't play.

Bring on the play offs.


Posted on 14/04/2014

2B over the moon or not 2B.

Well the end of the season heat turns up a notch or 2. 
First we had the 1st player to abandon ship when one of the B team players suddenly shot off to have a trial with Stoke City. The club are up in arms because he went without permission. It would be interesting to know when he was last paid, if at all. Good luck to him.

There was an article in last week's paper about the begging children at the turnstiles. They have raised in the last 2 home games a little over €3,000 which is not enough to pay one player a month's wage. I can't be sure but nobody has received a pay slip so far for this year as these uncomfortable stories are not in the news these days. 
The CaCaCon incentive estimated between €40,000 to €50,000 a month in the short term and considerably more in the long term and not an innocent child involved. It pays off sometimes to answer the phone.
Gates are dropping sharpish as well. Only 11,000 at the last home game down from 16,000 against Oviedo. Sunflower seed salesman also told me sales are down. No I wonder why that is.

The politicians are back. Oh no.

The Ex club lawyers are now banging on the front door demanding payment for services rendered during Mr. Lavin and Co.'s highly profitable time in the palco. €350,000. Wonder what you get for that.

Nitty Gritty Department.
Another Colossal Cantabrian Costal Clash (si, si, si, si) this time away to bottom of the league Noja. Apparently it was a mind blowingly drab affair. 0-0 but Racing don't want to be the club who send Noja down, so lets be nice. Ahhhhh.

Next up The Serial Divers, Tropezón at home. Thursday afternoon KO at 5 o'clock.


Posted on 07/04/2014

2B a pauper or not 2B.

Well its been another quiet week. No sackings, no court cases, no new board members named etc.

So, as I approached the gate yesterday, I spotted standing in the shade of the floodlight pylon a Welshman and another Englishman who were both drinking illicit alcohol acquired from the ice cream vendor. 29 degrees in Santander yesterday.

Now when you see strange things outside Spanish football grounds there's usually another surprise just round the corner but I was not prepared for what happened next.
Outside Gate 12 as usual there was no queue so we went straight in past the not working electronic turnstile and the gate attendant checked our tickets. The security guard didn't bother searching us as we were all wearing our halos but stood right behind them was a little girl with a collection box asking for money for the club. I stopped and said hello to her and then asked her age and name. Before she could reply the security guard stepped in twitching and asked me to move on. So I asked him why and he said I was blocking the entrance to which I replied there's nobody waiting to get in but it was time to leave.

So as I took up my seat I could not help thinking about this little child. Who are her parents? What is the club doing by getting little children to do their begging for them. Would the parents of this child allow her to go asking for money on the streets if both of them lost their jobs? Probably not as this would be considered an embarrassment for the family but in the comfort of a football stadium for a just and honest cause it's OK. 
Is this the best that the 13 man board can come up with regarding generating funds for the club. 
That person should be an adult with an ID card and number like some kind of official charity organisation. What a disgrace and insult towards the fans and a club that has just celebrated its centenary year. I was disgusted.

Nitty Gritty Department.
Being disgusted is not the ideal mood to be in when watching football in 2B but after 90 minutes of pure bobbins it was time to head straight for that ice cream and tip that fridge upside down. Painful doesn't even come close. The game was settled by one of them fly through the air with the greatest of ease dodgy penalties. Anyway 7 points clear at the top and only 5 matches to go.

Good News Department.
Last night we set up an English Language Football Newspaper. If anybody wants to contribute you are more than welcome. Articles about them will be automatically binned.


Posted on 31/03/2014


2B on the sofa or not 2B

Well its been another extremely quiet week except for the fines dished out after Sundays stampede and truncheon wielding festival. Between €3,001 and €3,500 fine and banned from sports stadiums for 6 months.
Been a quiet weekend as there was no game for Racing as the Salamanca team got the boot before the season had even kicked off. So its been feet up and take it easy. The players got 3 days off to practise on PlayStation. The 8 point lead has been reduced to 5 but that was to be expected.
Lets make a lot of noise Department.
As the gradona de los malditos have moved from up in the corner to down in the North Stand bottom tier this season we've seen a big shift in the atmosphere. 
First complaint the green and white batten-berg cake flag pattern waver. 
Now this flag is about the size of your average Spanish kitchen. Obviously he got his mum to make it and he borrows his dads telescopic sea fishing rod to make a pole. 
We sit 38 rows behind him and depending where the ball is on the field he can wipe out vast sections of the pitch. If its in the penalty area you miss the header or pass and in midfield the ball keeps disappearing and re- appearing and its difficult to follow play. 
If the balls up the other end you see nothing of the action. People stood directly behind him probably see very little of the game. The private security keep telling him where to stick his flag and on windy days the thing just raps around the pole but he carries on non the less. Once a massive flag waver always a massive flag waver. Its phallic stage thing.
Last week I happened to mention this to the bloke sat next to me and I asked whet kind of disorder is this bloke suffering from. 
"Hyper Ondulation" was the reply.
The drummer's got a new, shiny and bigger drum for Reyes and that thing is 15 seats away to the left of us and boy does it make a racket. Hes only got one drum stick and that's the size of a giants lollipop. Needless to say he's got no mates.
The real star of the show though and the noisiest is the cheer leader who comes to every game with his megaphone. Before last week he just tied it to a pole but now he's wired up to two of them. 
Stereo cheer leader. 
This bloke spends all game with his back to the pitch and insists on going through the entire repertoire of songs every half without a breather for anyone. 
Now he's started writing new songs and he has to shout out the lyrics so we can all learn them and then sing them. Get it wrong and he gets angry. Don't sing long enough or loud enough yet more tantrums. It is hilarious to watch and is far more entertaining than some of the football but what ever happened to good old spontaneous chanting. He's now got a young apprentice who is learning the trade.
Today the club announced a new plan. €1 million need to be raised before the end of the season. A small sentence appears at the end apologising about the incidents at the Oviedo game.

Posted on 24/03/2014


2B a closet hooligan or not 2B

Nothing at all happened last week of any interest. Very quiet almost too quiet.

Nitty Gritty Department.
In el clasico del cantabrico the 1st half was the worst football seen all season in The Sardinero. Side footed hoofs.

In the 2nd half the 101ers came out firing on all 4 cylinders. Precision engineering football. Delicate touches all over the pitch and 2 of the best goals money couldn't even come close to buying. A delicate lob from Miguelez and a power finish from King Kone.

The Not Particularly Nice Department.
Not sure whose idea it was to put the travelling 2500 Oviedo supporters in the south stand top tier. Objects were launched into the bottom tier and the riot police had to intervene several times. 
When the game finished, as is the custom this year, the Racing players approached the north stand to applaud the supporters and the fans sing their little halos off. 
As the players trotted off to the bath it was worrying to notice the Oviedo fans had gone. Oh no. Trouble on the cards.

Now this is quite difficult to explain. Away supporters going to the coaches have to cross the car park diagonally and the home fans have to cross diagonally in the opposite direction. X marks the spot right in the middle of the car park.

As a lot more people go these days it has also become a custom to go for a beer in the stadium bar where a few friends meet up. People that I rarely get to see because they live out of town. 
As I approched the bar I could see an Oviedo supporter lay on the ground suffering from a panic attack. His girlfriend was hysterical and his mates all had their head in their hands. The medical team were dealing with him. Word had it a Racing supporter had pushed him over but when I spoke to one of his mates he told me it had been a policeman who had hit him from behind with a truncheon.
So I left him my telephone number just in case and went for a beer.
Stood outside the bar I started watching the crowd and noticed a group of 4 lads (20 year oldish) coming towards me all smiles and obviously happy Racinguistas. Behind them running at top speed was 6 riot police, battens drawn and they proceeded to knock the living daylights out of 2 of them. I could here the ribs popping from where I was stood. Then one of them did a belly flop on top of one of them. All 90 kilos plus riot gear. This is when the serious urge to wade in came across but I was wearing my new halo and it wouldn't look good.
For the next hour and half thats what they did. Run around the car park beating quite innocent people at will and causing several stampedes. They made Buster Keaton look like James Bond. Makes you think what was said in the post match briefing.

Several times in this wielding fest a rather zealous member of the force would pile off on his own and take out a particular person without him realizing he was surrounded by 100s of fans from both side. If these people had turned on him he would have been mincemeat.
Later the car park resembled a battle field with the streets full of people holding their ribs, legs etc in obvious pain.

Between 13 members on the new board and the police chiefs nobody remembered the golden rule of football policing. Leave the away fans inside and disperse the home supporters. In total there must have been 20 police (3 vans) to control 16,000 fans.

Its funny when you can stand in the middle of a crowd and just because you are drinking a beer nobody bothers you. Its as if you are invisible or maybe its because the tax on beer pays their wages.

8 points clear at the top and the crowd were singing campeones.

What a team, what a league, what a season.


Posted 17/03/2014


2B a mole hill or a mountain or not 2B

Well its been a quiet week for a change.

First up we had the owner before Mr. Ali giving his shares to the new board of directors.There are 13 of them now. A full team and 2 subs. Here they all are. Good job the photographer took his wide lenses.

Then this article appeared in the press. Bernardo Colsa gets appointed as the manager of La Fundación Real Racing Club (boss of the foundry?). Well the comments section is a disgrace. Mr. Colsa has been fundamental in the taking over of the club. I have seen lots of interviews with him and he comes across as a person who knows what hes talking about. This blokes breathes Racing so good on him. Bravo Bernie.

Nitty Gritty Department.
A resounding 3-5 win in Gijón (Sporting B). Bringing back 3 points from Asturias is always nice. Only 1500 people inside the stadium as the home team decided to charge their season ticket holders €5 to get into the ground. Yet more superb marketing techniques in Spanish football. 
The Racing fans (400) gathered round Preciado´s statue outside the ground and the chant went out "Puxa Manolo." Still no statue in El Sardinero or in Astillero where he was born and started playing football. Dear me.

Bringing Forward KOs Department.
Next Sunday is the big one in El Sardinero with the visit of Real Oviedo. Racing have decided to start the game at 4.30pm so the Oviedo fans can get back home in time to watch the Spanish derby. What a joke.
Next weekend every club, player and football fan in Spain should go on strike no matter how big or small. Nobody should watch them play, read about them or comment about them. 
But I guess there's not much chance of that happening.

Still 5 points clear at the top.

What a season. What a league.


Posted on 10/03/2014


2B on the ball or not 2B

Well its been another week of in and outs. The directors box shuffle and prawn butty slinging is becoming a joke. 15 directors in less than 35 days and on Friday they announced there are more to be brought in. No more politicians as they wont even fit in at the moment as the boys are packed in like sardines. Soon building work will have to undertaken to make the palco big enough. This could become the first multi storey palco in Spanish football. Also on Friday certain members of the supporters group threatened to storm the board room and stage a coup d´etat.
The shares are now back in the hands of the bloke who sold them to Mr. Ali. Them shares must be the most travelled in the history of football. Theyve been to at least 3 continents.

Nitty Gritty. A game of 2 Racings. Santander vs Ferrol.
A goal in the 1st minute from King Kone was all it took to take all the 6 points in this top of the table clash. The football on show was abysmal. The 101ers moved 5 points clear at the top.

Stadium tannoy announcements Vol 2.
Well weve had the "Is there a ref in the stadium?" a couple of weeks ago but yesterdays just blew your socks away. It went something like:
"We would like to inform supporters that all games in the end of the seasons play-offs will be free to season ticket holders. The top teams from the 4 groups in 2B will be drawn from hat and paired up. Home and away. The winners go straight into the best 2nd division in the world. The 2 losing teams will go into another hat with the teams from the 4 leagues who finished 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th. These 2 mini knock out competitions will be held on home and away basis. The 2 winning finalists will then be promoted."
Now in my book that sounds really complicated. This could take longer to sort out than the world cup finals and will probably still be going on when the world cup has finished. What an economical nightmare for the clubs involved especially if you lose the ko final.

What a season. what a league.


Posted on 03/03/2014


2B a surname sniffer or not 2B.

Well the honeymoon is well and truly over. Its divorce time already.

On Tuesday 5 members of the new board of directors resigned. Here they are all looking pretty glum. 17 days this lot lasted. What is going on.

The day after the club announced in the press that 3 of the new board members should come from the supporters groups (peñas). They replied later in the afternoon saying they were not interested. What is going on.

That same day I managed to screen grab this from the local press. Now for quite some time I have been wittering on about this halo wearing lark and its certainly starting to catch on.

My particular one is worn out but still takes a fine polish but maybe its time to improve it and get a new virtual model. So this weekend we secured workshop premises in Lepe and this afternoon production details were set in place. Manufacturing starts at 9 oclock tomorrow morning.

SmartHalo is a completely new concept in halo marketing. You get a halo with your club colours in a variety of different patterns all lit up. All you haver to do is think of your club and the colours appear. The club hymn can also be provoked by just thinking about it. For people in rural areas this is ideal as you can leave home without a torch.

As always there is a trigger built in. So if you support one of them but go to Racing games or support 2 teams (dear me) the colours change to green and white. The trouble is though when you get into an argument with a person who supports the other one of them the halo instantly goes on to green and white mode and plays the club song without you even thinking about them. Of course if you are a closet supporter of one of them but pretend you support Racing then you have got a real problem. This bit is not explained in the ample instruction leaflet. 
Footage, articles, pod casts and images of football (nothing else) can be instantly uploaded and viewed just by thinking about it.

We have contracted several big clubs in Spain and abroad. The Spanish sports press are very interested in purchasing several 100,000. 
Buy Sundays paper and get a free SmartHalo.

Nitty Gritty.
The 101ers lost to a last minute goal in wet Vigo. This is exactly what happens when you pay the staff/players last Septembers and Octobers wage bill. Complacency creeps in.

Still Top Though. 
Racing Santander ............ 49 points.
Racing Ferrol (next up) .....47 pts.
Guijuelo ........................... 46 pts.
Real Oviedo (surge is on)..45 pts.
Burgos ............................ 41 pts.


Posted on 24/02/2014

Nitty Gritty 101 Birthday Party and 150 Bagpipe players.

Well the queues at the stadium went down to the beach. It was a good job the tide was out. The one at the ticket office was enormous. Smiling happy Racinguistas everywhere. As I was doing my turnstile breathing exercises to lower blood pressure and heart beat a friend of mine walked past carrying his 2 year old son and asked "Are you going to the game?" Ask a silly question get a silly answer. 
Then he asked. "Hey why dont you take Hector in and I`ll get a ticket and join you?" So I said alright but made him promise "no whinging only singing" and took him in free as he`s under 5 and Im a season ticket holder. First problem. Little Hector is no good at walking up stairs as his legs are still too short. I had to carry him right up to the top tier. Totally knackered and heart beat back up. Blood boiling.

The game kicked off but poor little Hector got scared because of the din. Anyway his Dad turned up 25 minutes later much to the delight of Hector and myself. This child minding in a football ground had been far to stressful so I went and did something Ive never ever done before and popped down to the bar for a beer during the game. The bar staff were all friendly and smiling as well. The sunflower seeds had been flying off the shelf."We've sold more sunflower seeds today than in all the season so far."

Missed the Compostela goal but returned in time to catcth Racings equaliser. In the 2nd half a series of events unfolded. 1st Racing goalie was stretchered off and has broken his jaw in 4 places. Out for the season. There is only one goalie left now. Then one of theJuventudes Verdiblancas gave Hector a seriously nice embroidered scarf. What a beautiful gesture. Well he was twirling it so fast that he nearly took off.

Then the referee pulled up with muscle ping and had to go off. One of the linesmen became the ref and as there is no 4th official in 2B the game continued with only one linesman. Then the tannoy announced "Is there a referee in the Stadium?" Cue hysterical laughter all round. People were rolling in their seats. Just like the scene out of The Life of Brian. This is when I turned round and said to Hector. 
"Well lad this is your big chance. Just remember to blow a penalty for Racing in the last minute of added time." 
Dad stepped in and put the dampers on that idea. What a spoilsport or maybe he didn't feel like running round the pitch carrying him whilst blowing a whistle. Eventually up stepped Leiva Zubillaga (pronounce that one) dressed in Racing shorts and a black t-shirt who is an official ref in the 3rd division and he was brought on like a substitute. Tears were rolling down cheeks.

There was 12 minutes added onto the game but it stayed 1-1. The 16,000 plus crowd went home happy. Poor little Hector looked worn out so we dropped him off at home and went for a beer.

Heres a picture of him just above the a (in tab) on the hoarding dressed in his centenary red coat. I am sat to his left wearing my posh Oldham Athletic skiing hat, Dad behind him (one of them) and to his right you have in order a Gillingham supporter, a Glasgow Rangers supporter and a Sheffield Wednesday supporter so apart from his Dad he was in good football company.

Racing managed to increase their lead at the top to 3 points. Is that result the beginning of a Real Oviedo post mid season surge?

What a season. Olé.


Posted 24/02/2014


2B on a lead or not 2B.

After over 80 unanswered phone calls to the club office number on Monday and Tuesday made by various personalities It was time to start reflecting. Oh no, not again.

So early on the bright sunny Wednesday morning I left home to see a man about a dog on a previously arranged appointment. As we wallowed in canine matters over a relaxing coffee with milk along with brandy buckets thrown in followed by a video demonstration of a technical hound breeding procedure in Spanish we spotted 2 mutual friends entering the local. Both were accompanied by their respective friends..

As the canine breeding programme euphoria peaked I happened to go off topic and mentioned my dilemma in cocking my leg on the Racing lamppost with a radical forward thinking enterprise initiative. This is when Man3 Dog4 splurted out. "Why thats such and such a somebody's direct family member. He knows all the new board. He`s well in with the top brass." 
"Whats he called?" I screamed with FETCH enthusiasm. Then the all important surname was released. We all sniffed pleasingly UUuhhhm. This is when I came as close to artificial insemination on the spot, live in a bar as I have ever been. 
"Call him now. We need 30 minutes. No more."

Off shot 34 man leaving his best friend tied to the table leg whimpering and with submissive tail language. For 15 minutes we 3 spoke openly about how to put Spain to rights and tucked into another brandy bucket on the house whilst eyeing nervously Man34.

When 34Man returned the question was a full on male voice choir with a howling hound backing, something which had not previously been rehearsed. "What did he say?" We all screamed out loud.

Time Out Department.
Asking a Spaniard ¿Qué ha pasado? has so many connotations it beggars belief. The problems arise when sayings/phrases are mentioned and everybody laughs but you do not understand. Then you laugh as its contagious and they laugh even more. Its called banter in English. At your cost because you said/asked something stupid or perversely funny,

"El mismo perro pero distinto collar." The same dog but wearing a different collar. Now its hard to know where to stand with this one. Is it a family surname sniffing jealousy thing? Interpretations arise all round. Maybe its better to just sit on it.

Friday Morning Brandy Buckets Department.
In Fridays paper there was a little well hidden article about an interview with the clubs new vice president. Where he was quoted as saying "What Jacobo Montalvo should do is give us all the shares and walk away. All he has to do is call the club we´ll speak to him." Good luck with that.

O ring ring lé.


Posted on 17/02/2014

2B in a lather or not 2B.

By hook or by crook during the next few days The CasaCantabria Consortium (CaCaCon) will to be storming into the board room in El Sardinero and making a presentation to the board members and president at The New Racing. 
This initiative is comprised of a 2 pronged pitch fork plan - PPFPx2.
Financial Streaming in a modern day Spanish Football Club on the brink of going under. 
The Lets Not All Kid Ourselves That The Grass is Greener Department. The debt is still there.

Sharp Prong 1. Short term proposal. This could be up and running in 3 weeks.
Sharp Prong 2. Long term proposal. Avoid insolvency at all costs.

During the time I have spent over the years watching the seagulls and pigeons aimlessly circling the pitch during games, it was pleasing to take time out and think tank. Sometimes too much, sometimes not enough, sometimes not about the right things - such is life in the the game of 2 halves. This long term suffering period of how to potenciar ingresos en un club de futbol needs to be put on the table. The presentation is short and sweet (30 minutes - as Im not giving too much away - its more a test of them as we have nothing to prove to anyone) but during it we need the collaboration of one person in particular. The KingPin.

Calling Mr Lowe? Come in Mr Lowe? Do you read me Mr Lowe? 
A 10 minute phone call can go a long way especially if its with the president of the club during The 10 Year Plan - Gauntlet Forcibly Slammed On The Table Show Down and it is impossible to do any harm. You tried to talk to Mr Pernia & Co. before and everybody knows how that ended up. CaCaCon is on the verge of offering you a 10 minute hotline to the top brass. No more. No less.

There is no need what so ever to prep this, or talk about it previously. A "yes" or "no" to a simple question on the phone (in Spanish without word trickery or false friend interventions) at the end of the call will suffice.

Ahh well back to the "its grim up north" black and white nitty gritty in the best 2B league in the world.
Another 3 points in the bag sending the 101ers clear at the top in a packed Gaunas (pronounce that one) stadium. A sterling performance 0-2. Poor Logroño - what really happened at that club. 
2 clubs for the price of 2 and nobody's going nowhere.

As it stands.
Racing Santander .. loads of points.
The chasing pack ....slacking badly. Luanco grinding out a result......


The Monday morning board room meltdown syndrome.

Many people sit around scathing their heads wondering how they are going to get themselves and their company/club out of the mess it finds itself in. Just around about the same time the company receives a phone call with an offer of assistance in Financial Streaming. This person gets fobbed off and put through to somebody else who does the same. Eventually you speak to somebody on the board and give a brief explanation of the presentation about how to potenciar ingresos para el club. This person tells you to send it in a written format. Now we all know what happens next in Spain.

You and your team spend 3 or 4 hours preparing the letter and send it off. The person in the club reads it and goes into the presidents office and says to the president.
"Snr. Presidente I have had a good idea."
"Oh really. Whats that." Replies the president.
"Well blah blah blah." Explains the person with renewed enthusiasm.
"Brilliant. What a good idea. Here have a medal." Cries the president.

You letter is now in the bin and that person goes to the top of the class.
This is what happened this morning when the temporary leader of the casacantabria consortium rang the club at 12.45pm. Her name is Maria Asencion Gomez Gomez - headmistress at

So I rang them at 1.06 pm and surprise surprise nobody answered.
Din dins.
So at 5.00pm I rang again - no answer. And again - no answer and again no answer and again - no answer.

And people wonder why this country is in the state it is in.

Posted on 11/02/2014

2B or not 2B. The easy does it revamped version.

When I eventually arrived back in Santander late last night the bus dropped me off across the road from the football club. It was strange seeing the stadium once again. It glowed like one massive halo lighting up the wild stormy night. The ground seemed to vibrate with a gentle tremor and there was a pleasant humming industrial noise in the air. The feeling it gave off was of a club back in business and pride oozed out of every concrete pore. The sky right above the ground was clear of dark clouds and the stars shone brightly in the reflected glow from below which brought out long lost goose pimples and sent a slight satisfying shiver rippling down my spine. Its good to be back home.

In another bit of good news the club has renegotiated the loan repayments that Mr Pernia took out with Inmoarrbi. This means takings at the ticket office etc will be free from seizure allowing the club to pay the workers. Not sure about the number of new sociosbut the fans have returned in droves with queues stretching over the horizon. The newly installed President and his team have achieved more in 10 days since the rebirth of the New Racing than the Mr Lavin managed in the last 2 years. Anybody know, off hand, what is the world record attendance for a 2B league match?

Nitty Gritty.
Yesterdays game in Mieres sounding like a drab affair and the 101ers took the lead in the 1st half. The 2nd reads like they were trying to hang onto the 1 goal but Racing never have been much good at hanging onto 1-0 leads so the inevitable equaliser arrived and thats the way it stayed. Mister Paco was not a happy chap.

Neck and Neck at the top.
Racing Santander...45 points.
Guijuelo..................45 pts.
Racing Ferrol.........42 pts.
Real Aviles.............38 pts.
Real Oviedo...........38 pts.
Ourense................36 pts.

There has been no news about the where abouts of both Mr Lavin and Mr Pernia. There are unconfirmed reports that they took to the sea in a pea green boat. They are probably looking for Mr Ali on that ex Racing presidents barren rock known as cuckoo land.

O good riddance lé.

Posted on 03/02/2014

2B here or 2B there

Recently we've had the biggest few days in the clubs history. After that it was the biggest week in the clubs history. Then up came the biggest 10 days in the clubs history and this weekend has just become the biggest in the clubs history.

First up we had the game that never was. 40 seconds of the best football entertainment money could never even come close to buying. Not a dry eye in the house. 1 hour after the "game" had finished the north stand was still in full voice. The floodlights had been long turned off so all the glowing halos lit up the night. Around about the same time in one last defiant stand the squatters announced that Fridays share holder meeting was cancelled.

Early the next morning the clubs new owner went in front of a judge to try and get an injunction reversing Jaris announcement. At that moment I had to leave Santander to travel back to blighty. What a time to leave but a close family members funeral cannot be postponed so I'm a bit in the dark about what happened next as I have no internet, local radio, tv, newspapers or elbow on the bar gossip. The bottom line is the meeting went ahead, Jari & Co. got the boot and a new president and board was appointed consisting of ex Racing players.

So instead of taking up my seat yesterday afternoon i mooched down to ye olde weavers cottage pub to drown my sorrows in front of a coal fire and tucked into rag pudding, chips, mushy peas and piles of bread and butter all swilled down with copious amounts of fine ale. Whilst recovering from this suet overdose I started reading the Sky magazine. Needless to say the Racing game was not on. So I asked the landlord how much does Sky cost. £1,200 per month was his reply. I asked how come its so expensive and he said it all calculated on business rates, pub location, turnover, number of pub screens and its postcode rated. He went onto tell me that the multi screen town center pubs pay between £2,000 and £3,000 a month. Bloody hell.
Funny bar chat. During a conversation I asked a bloke which team he supported and he replied. "Whoever I've got money on."

Nitty Gritty.
The queues at the ticket office went round the block and over 16,000 attended yesterdays game against Cultural Leonesa. A 91st minute King Kone goal left Racing clear at the top. It was funny seeing the PP politicians back in the palco. The new crowd protest is now POLITICOS FUERA.

Racing Santander 44 points.
Guijuelo ..............42 pts.
Racing Ferrol .......41 pts.
Real Oviedo .........38 pts. 
Real Aviles............37 pts.

The new Racing era ball is rolling and its gaining momentum. Its going to be difficult to stop.

O back in business le.

Posted on 30/01/2014


2B in with a shout or not 2B.

After the recent 3-7-0-1 and 3-8-0-0 tactics it was refreshing to see a shift to a more attacking orientated 0-0-0-11 formation.

The teams were announced very late and they walked onto the pitch to a resounding reception. At least 30 photographers eagerly grabbed the very long pose pre match Racing team shot. After this both sides took up battle positions but there was non of that jumping in the air like a demented frog warm up body language from any of the players. The terraces were bopping though.

The preliminary procedures seem to take ages and when La Real eventually kicked off the 101ers just stared at the palco which was completely empty. A perfect portrayal of the fall of the Roman empire. Cesar Jari with his knobbly knees knocking in a dressing room locker down in the Sardinero Coliseum bowels, the crowd baying for his resignation.

As La Real passed the ball aimlessly around their own half the Racing players, goalie included, strolled to the centre circle and formed a formidable defence unit by linking arms over shoulders in gladiatorial defiance.

The ball bobbled out of play after 40 seconds and the ref called out to Racings captain to explain what was going on. Head bowed he approached the official and that was that. Full time due to a default on player payment.

The tannoy announced the game had been suspended and the crowd went wild.

Tomorrow is the next chapter in the minority share holders fisty cuffs. With the new CEO in town it should last longer than tonights game.


Posted on 27/02/2104


2B in the know or not 2B.

You couldn't make it up if you tried quote of the week department.
"I`ve studied physics and other complicated subjects like the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics but I still don't understand what is happening at Racing." Eduardo Arasti, the PP regional government minister for innovation, industry, tourism and commerce tries to get his head round the situation at the club. He was speaking in the aftermath of the news that Western Gulf Advisory have got rid of Mr Ali who has also lost all his assets through a decision taken in the Dutch Chamber of Commerce including his name on the shares in Racing. Sort that one out Harry.

Rotations? In the dressing room the penny has dropped and 3 more players announced their departures this week. Thats 5 in total in the winter sales so far. There are only 17 players left and 3 of them are goalkeepers. This could bring about a whole new tactical concept in Spanish football. 3 goalies, 7 defenders and Mariano up front. 3-7-0-1 formation. That should get the pundits scratching their heads.

Nitty gritty.
Well the new tactics didn't last long. Mariano got stretchered off after 8 mins with a dislocated shoulder so the team reverted to the previously untried 3-8-0-0. With so many defenders it didn't take long for Zamora to score. It ended 1-0 which was only Racings 3rd league defeat. 2 more players got injured during the game meaning there are only 14 fit players. Its going to need volunteers from the crowd to get through the season.

Back to being tight at the top.
Racing Santander - 41 pts. 
Racing Ferrol ------ 41 pts.
Guijuelo ------------- 39 pts.
Real Oviedo ------- 38 pts.
Burgos/Avilés--------34 pts

Big cup game this Thursday night at HQ if it goes ahead. If it does at least one goal and a victory would be nice as they've not won at home so far in the cup and have only scored one goal here. Qualification would be fountain dip material.

The Storm in the Cup so far.
1st Round. A bye.
2nd Round. A 1 legged away tie against L`Hospitalet. It ended 3-4 with a goal in the 121st min. This is when you knew something special was a foot as they don't do extra time victories.
3rd Round. Again a one off, this time in Leganes. It finished 1-1 after extra time and went to penalties. Racing won 3-5 in the shoot out and they dont do penalty shoot out triumphs. Thats when the writing appeared on the wall.
4th Round. Went down 0-1 after 5 mins. After that los centenarios did everything but score. In the away leg they hung on in the 1st half and proceeded to wear Sevilla out with merciless counter attacking. 0-2. The writing on the wall went upper case.
5th Round. The Night of The Palco Assailants and it was claw and tooth down on the pitch. It finished 1-1. The away leg was a tactical master-class. Get in Almeria`s face for 15 mins get the home crowd booing, sit back and soak it all up. Then the 101ers came out guns blazing and fired in 2 truly "did that really just happen" goals. The writing on the wall went flashing neon lights with loud knees up mother brown piano accompaniment. 
chorizos fuera goes global.

On Friday after there is another minority share holders meeting and WGAs new CEO is reportedly coming. This coincides with the last day of the winter "armageddon outtahere" transfer market. Its going to be fun.

O pump it up lé.

Cant be bothered with it all but here are the juicy bits from Harrys reply.

...the players imprudent and inopportune declarations are a betrayal towards their fellow players who are not in possession of a RD1006 clause in their contracts (payment guarantee)...

...some of the same players took part in the legendary relegation last season, their pay slip is far higher than your average worker, none of the players are owed 4 months wage...

On Sunday after suffering unfortunate injuries the team put in a poor tactical performance against a team with a budget 4 times inferior to ours...

My resignation has been on the table since last May... nobody has come up with the money for the refinancing of the club...

All those flag and crest kissing Racinguistas who like to carry on suffering whilst showing off their colours have let down once again this old and eroded club which is on artificial respiration and is showing signs of fatigue.

...this is not a game of musical chairs and the new WGA committee will not be hampered in any way.... we need the patient out of intensive care..

...the shares that they now possess are not the same shares as Mr Ali`s so the present president and directors will legally be the same.....

Hold the front page.

Player Power. Heres the translated message read to the press this morning before training.

"The squad of Racing wish to relay to the paying public the following extreme measures:

As you all well know we have not been paid for months even though we have been promised several times.

This situation has brought about difficult economical situations leading to various players having to cancel their contracts.

Other players, who have already left, has weakened the squad meaning we unable to compete.

The lack of answers from the board and the ever increasing economic unrest we find ourselves in combined with the news coming out of the club in the last few days, the whole squad ask for the directors resignations as soon as possible.

In the event of this not happening in the next few hours, we the players will not play in Thursdays Cup game.

We hope this decision, taken in difficult circumstances for us and the club, is fully understood and backed by Racing fans who have our total respect. We ask for support and comprehension in this difficult moment."
Santnader 27th January 2014.

casacantabria as socio 5,439 supports this decision 110%
Bravo chavales.


Posted on 22/02/2014

2B in with a shout or not 2B.

The Pre Match Tension (PMTs) really kicked in earlier this evening. Hot flush, twitching, body popping butterflies, dizzy, tense clock watching, restlessness, dry throat, sweaty palms etc. JuanCar Cup Fever.

Seeing the cavalry sat on the bench did not help matters. Was this a tactical move or orchestrated winter rotational player sales manoeuvres under flood lights..
After 3mis 45secs the fever soon disappeared - not even enough time to take in some medicine. 1-0. glug, glug.
What was the defence up to - The Night of The Shop Dummies.

Racing hit the bar but the static back line wasn`t budging. Time and time again they froze and the inevitable 2-0 arrived. La Real players queuing up 3 meters out. What a night to take a night off. Oh no.

Bet mister Paco put a bit of wind in the 101ers sails at half time. Not that it did much good as it just went in one ear and out the other.

61 Min - 3-0. The Night of The Headless Shop Dummies. Look lads we all understood the statue protest but this is elementary stuff. Cover and Hoof.

Step up King Kone who had done nothing all night and had unusually started. The finest impersonation of The Lone Ranger in the 6 yard box as you will ever see. 
3-1 min 83. Thats when the battle call went out and the troops rallied. From then on in it was more like The Charge of the Light Brigade. 
Racing had a goal rightly ruled out and it was end to end until the end, throbbing stuff.

Note: Not keen on this running track round the pitch type stadium lark. €40 to get a stretched viewing angle from behind the goal. The turf is also suffering from severe grass blotch as is The Sardinero HQ. Must be moss.

O all to play for .

Posted on 20/02/2014

2B on the ball or not 2B.

Midday KOs - Rise and Shine Syndrome.
This was the 1st outing as an Alternative San Miguel Ambulance Brigade Auxiliary Steward (ASanMABAS) and it didn't take long to be called into action.

In the 11th minute the planned protest call went out to abandon the terraces. Down everybody piled into the stadium bowels (el vomitorio in Spanish - Puke Point?). Placed on the last seat of our row was a lonely, brand new, neatly folded "Chorizos Fuera" scarf. When I asked the people around if it was theirs they said no so I left it. Whilst peering out of the staircase to soak up the lack of atmosphere inside the ground with only 200 or so non halo wearers watching, I noticed one lad putting the scarf round his mates neck.

When everybody rushed out from below and settled back into watching the game and giving the squatters grief, a member of the family group sat next to us asked if we`d picked up the scarf. I told him I saw the people involved and he went on to explain he`d just bought it as he`d lost his life long version only that very morning and what a coincidence that in the 13th minute some chorizo takes your new "chorizos out" scarf whilst protesting about Club Chorizos & Co. 
Stuff of chance alignment ley lines.

At half time I spotted the offenders and pointed them out. He shot off, handed out a quick bollocking and they surrendered the scarf. He came back seriously well chuffed, shook my hand and awarded me a medal.

Him: "Come on I`ll invite you to a coffee." 
cc: "Well thats very kind of you. Whats your name?"
Him: "Fran San Miguel. I work for puntalradio as a match commentator."
cc: "Now I dont believe this (his surname). How come your not commentating?"
Fran: "We only do away games as the club dont allow us to broadcast from inside the stadium as we`re dubbed, along with the rest, as the anti banger radical behind the mic mob. What about you?" 
cc: "Well I`m the self appointed Racing Santander global correspondent in Posh Oldham English." (Hey, If you cant beat em join em).
Fran: "Really? Look if you want to come to press conferences, meet the players, I have all their numbers, visit the radio station during a pod cast...." and a long etc.
cc: "Thats a very nice offer buts its not really my cup of tea but I know someone who would. My son is studying journalism at Madrid Compultense
Fran: "When ever he wants. Come on down. More than welcome."
Ahh the memories of my boy scout days flooded back. All them badges and medal awarding ceremonies for lighting fires and the likes.

Rotations? - Only 2 players sold so far in the winter sale.
The 101ers looked a bit shell shocked after the mid week smash and grab plus the journey to and from Almeria. A spit and sawdust routine 30th min penalty push 1-0 was enough. Bit of a poor show crowd wise. Less than 3,000.

Racing High Rollers.
Racing Santander - 41 pts. 
Racing Ferrol ------ 40 pts.
Guijuelo ------------- 36 pts.
Real Oviedo ------- 35 pts.
Ourense ------------ 33 pts.
Note: During the week Real Oviedo and Racing Ferrol played out the rest of their explosive, previously abandoned game. It finished 1-2.

The mother of all seasons no let up department.
Last week was probably one of the biggest weeks in the clubs history and the next 10 days could well be one of the biggest 10 days in the clubs history. 
The 1st leg of the 1/4 finals is on Wednesday away at La Real. The return leg the following Thursday at HQ. The eventual winners will play either Levante or them in the semis. Sandwiched between Zamora away.
The Battle Bus kms so far in the cup (approx).
vs L´Hospitalet -1,400 kms.
vs Leganes - 946 kms.
vs Sevilla - 1,658 kms.
vs Almeria - 1,992 kms.

Total 5,996 kms. Around 80 hours journey time. Pay that driver. Now.

O hurry up Jari cough up .

Posted on 25/01/2014

2B on the ball or not 2B.

Normally I dont read the Spanish sports press as I feel dirty after, like I soiled myself but these last few weeks its been a pleasure taking a relaxing café con leche and gloating inside at the glossy glory of good news.

The boys are back in town safe and sound but tomorrow the preparations start for Sundays game. You can put money on the ticket office not being able to cope with the sales, trouble getting into the ground because of closed gates and so the turnstile storming will take place. North stand tickets are not available and its normally half empty. They might as well put up a sign. "Go Away."

The plan to ruin the club has seriously backfired. Nobody expected this. This was certainly not the plan. Again a lot of the credit must go to the mister. Deep down he must be loving it. He gave up his job as a teacher in Oviedo to come here and steady the sinking ship and hes owed 4 months wages. Hes only received 1 pay slip.

The funniest thing in the local papers comments was the storey, which was apparently on the radio, about Jari El Liquidador and Co. being refused a table at a top notch restaurant in Almeria.

On Sunday the planned fan protest is everybody (OAPs exempt) leaves their seats and goes down into the bowels of the stadium in the 13th minute of each half and sing their little heads off. Concrete reverberation. 
This will mean only the squatters will be watching the game then the mob will pile back onto the terraces and the loudest chant in years will ring out. No prizes for guessing the words.. Now that is going to be fun.

O bring it on lé.

Posted on 14/01/2014

2B through or 2B knocked out.

A team on a mission.

What a performance. The 101ers played Almeria off the park. They resorted to dirty bully tactics and Racing pinged that ball around like it was going out of fashion. The Almeria fans didn't sound happy about their own team but they applauded Racings performance which was nice.

Mind you both goals were absolute blinders. The 1st a finer header as you will see plonked with NASA precision by Mariano who was by far man of the match. The 2nd was just pure ballet dancing with a ball. Goal of the season stuff from Durán. King Kone fluffed a 1 on 1. Mario, the reserve goalie, did his bit as well. Even little 16 year old Fede made his début (he took his school homework with him on the bus).
Thats 4 crackers in 3 days. None conceded.

The celebrations at the end brought a tear to the eye. Sure the lads will enjoy that 13 hour bus journey and hope they get back safe and sound. Give that driver a medal and pay him.

Sundays home game has now become even bigger than massive. That ground should be full to the rafters in vocal support for this league and cup surge. A bit of palco grief is assured but the more the merrier. 
Let the good times roll (for a night or so).

O yes lé.

Posted on 13/01/2014

2B a Racinguista or not 2B.

"These people don't represent Racing." Jari El Liquidador speaking at the post palco assault press conference. Later he referred to the players protest as "absurd" saying that most of them are only owed a months wages and he`s personally not even been paid by himself since "I cant remember when.". Yeah right.

For the first time in 101 years the whole of Racinguismo is in agreement. Those elbow on the bar argumentative types, giving it the big one about the latest tactics, signings, donkey impersonation are all but a distant memory. Last week it was 99.9% but that 0.1 was the missing stepping stone. Now politicians (PP, PSOE, PRC), city mayor, ex players, fans and the montañes people are all united. Solidarity at last.

The expected comment back lash in the local press never appeared. Quite the opposite. The warriors from The Damned Stand (Gradona de los Malditos) have suddenly become saints. In future Its going to difficult to see the game with all those halos in the way.

No kick off mannequin impersonations this weekend.
If all that wasnt enough the 101ers only went and won away in Avilés who were unbeaten at home this season and have only conceded 2 goals there. Step up Ayina. A master blaster with the inside of his boot from outside the area and giving them sleeping spiders a hard time. Then King Kone running three quarters of the pitch, with the ball no less, selling the goalie a dummy with a majestic drop of shoulder/knee drift combo and popping it into the sack. Plus 3 world class saves from Sotres. There were over 800 Racinguistas in attendance. Immense. A lot of credit must go to el mister for keeping this show on the road. Bravo Paco.

This next week could well be the most important in the history of the club. The game in Almeria along with the 26 hour round trip in the Battle Bus and next up in the league, 2nd placed Guijuelo. The January sales from the souvenir shop are paying for the juice in the tank and the weathered credit card the hotel bill. Bring our boys back safe.

"Man the pumps. All hands on deck."
From now on I will be attending home games as an Alternative San Miguel Ambulance Brigade Auxiliary Steward (ASanMABAS) along with a little pouch bag containing home made stadium maps, telescope, whistle, rescue remedy, plasters, smelling salts, bandages, tin of germolene, big tub of chest rub vapour ointment, blankets, thermoflasks of horlicks/ox tail soup, a bottle of live leeches, eye drops, hip flask of orujo, a couple of boiled eggs, a pork pie and a jar of pickled onions. Just have to be careful on diagnosis and the treatment of implicated body parts when called into action and possible tapa selection distractions.

Dont care what anybody says but this must be the best 2B division in the world. No time for watching circling seagulls or pigeons inside the stadium any more and you can even read the newspapers the right way up. Blimey.

All clear at the top.
Racing Santander 38 pts.
Guijuelo 36 pts.
Racing Ferrol 34 pts.
Ourense 33 pts
Real Oviedo 32 pts.

O the dream is alive lé.

Posted 0n 09/01/2014

2B nice or not 2B nice. Now that is a messy question.

What a cracking JuanCar Cup game and certainly the best match this season at home. The lads were up for it as they well know qualification to the next round means that they must get paid something. TV rights are apparently still due from the elimination of Sevilla (€90,000).

For the first 20 seconds or so after KO the Racing players stood still in protest at the situation. Never seen that before (well sometimes the defenders do it). Good on em.

Almeria took the lead and thats how it stayed until half time. As the 2nd half got under way there was a disturbance up near the palco. From where we were sat it seemed as if certain people, who must be season ticket holders, were being man handled by security guards. These supporters were probably just complementing the president on his fine work. Then pitch side behind the goals a few nutters decided to invade the pitch with a banner. At that time there were 5 private security guards and 2 policia nacional(seasoned moustached types) without riot gear, trying to be really friendly and laughing nervously in front of the mass.

Then the cry went out "invasión del palco" something which I predicted long ago (polishes medals). Up they climbed and scrambled into the top tier. From there you can reach the main stand even though there is a spiky 2m high metal separation fence. Under, over and round they swarmed like salivating wolves homing in on a kill. Thats when the palco baton protection crew came out lashing. It looked pretty nasty and so the retreat took place. This is when I steadied my halo and joined in as an auxiliary to help the returning troops back into the north stand as panic set in. Dont like to see strugglingRacinguistas impaled when returning from battle.

Then the 101ers only went and scored. A belting goal to boot, then hit the post and then Almeria went down to 10 men. All that for just €89 a season. Bloody bargain at half the price.
There will be repercussions but somebody is going to get seriously hurt. Then its hands on head time Spanish style.
One day the main stand will be stormed from outside the ground by trouble causers who never even go to a game. Its now a free for all.

O all to play for lé.

Posted on 07/01/2014

Racing Santander - the fan friendly football club.

One thing I did notice before Saturdays game was the fairly long queue outside the ticket office. Very strange. Then on Sunday I read in the paper that all the supporters with a season ticket for preferencia norte (bottom tier) have to change their tickets for the rest of the season to the tribuna norte (top tier folded arms and moaning brigade). This was reported as a comunicado from the club. Visit the web site and nothing is mentioned.

The fans had Saturday, today or tomorrow to change tickets and after that your ticket becomes invalid. An obvious move to try and eliminate the booers. People all round the ground boo its just there are more in that part of the ground.

So on this bright, sunny and pleasantly warm day I shot off to the ticket office only to find nobody there. In the club shop the trade was brisk. Shirts, towels scarves etc flying off the shelf so I queued up. When it was my turn I asked the grumpy woman (very politely as she has gone 4 months without pay) about this. She told me to go to the office and she promptly dealt with my request. I am now officially a tribuna moaner.
When I asked the attendant why this was happening she replied. "Security reasons."

Outside the ticket office were 2 signs. 1 said all people entering the ground must ID themselves and the other said you can only occupy your designated seat. Up top it costs €225 a season down bottom €90. The top tier mob are not going to be happy with this occupation of their stand especially as they sit right behind the goal and have been doing so for years. There are a lot of OAPs sat in that part of the ground as they get special concessions. Only the truly masochistic long term suffers remain socios.

How are the club going to stop the squatting of the bottom tier? What will the reactions be of the top mob when they find the inebriated youth stood on their shiny seats? They clean them. Who is going to sort it out as there are no security guards or enough police to control the crowd. Trying to turn the fans on each other? What a mess.

Tomorrow nights game against Almeria is going to be interesting.

O what a club lé.

Posted on 06/01/2014

Nice 2B, 2B nice.

Well its been great to see the beginning of the Spanish economic recovery year get off to a flying start and of course Racing are leading the way in this department. Stop paying your employees. Simple. Down in La Moncloa somebody will be blueprinting this model. 
The players are now owed 3 months the staff 4. Apparently the magnificent club directors are up to date plus la paga extra.

So to celebrate this the jolly crew have closed the lower tier of the north stand due to the massive passive post match pitch invasion at the last home game. We`ve been sat in that stand for years minding our own business, politely referring to the refs mothers tax declarations and polishing our halos at half time whilst wallowing in the odour of fresh turf divots. Now Its the top tier with the folded arms and moaning brigade for the rest of the season or not.......

That nearly irrelevant weekly on the pitch issue.
That was the most surreal stadium entrance I`ve ever experienced and been through a few over the years. Got to the turnstiles 10 mins after KO due to early evening orujo over indulgence and a momentarily slip of the halo. Nobody was in attendance so I just walked in and set off up the stairs to the top tier only to pass a bloke screaming at his wrist. "This is getting out of hand."

Up top I was met by 5 policia nacional all huddled in the corner like twitching roosting birds needing the early morning toilet visit. Behind them was around 200 supporters all singing their little hearts out, the air laced with maria. At first I thought the game had been delayed or called off. Then the cry went out "invasión" and they piled onto the terraces like ants on an early morning scouting mission. Out of the stadium bowels, onto the top tier and down over the wall to squat the lower tier. Racing Power. Pictures of before KO and after.

At half time it was interesting to see the 4 private security guards negotiating with the leaders of las peñas pitch side. Thats the 3rd private security company this season. Non-payment? Not a policia nacional to be seen inside the ground. No firemen either.

It ended 1-1 and a no more fireworks warning over the tanoy from the ref whilst another boom went off followed by bellowing smoke from the underground toilets.

Tight at the top.
Racing Santander 35 pts.
Guijuelo 35 pts
Racing Ferrol 33 pts.
Ourense 32 pts.
Real Oviedo 31 pts.

O cough up Harry .

Posted on 23/12/2014
Life in 2B or not 2B. 1 week is a long time in Spanish football.
Best knock out cup competition in the world.
Dont you just love the JuanCar Cup. Despite having all the odds stacked against you, every now and again along comes an upset. So instead of giving Sevilla a good old seeing to behind Santas potting shed whilst Ruldolf was busy polishing his nose, they played them off the park with proper football.
The centenarios were immense with a 12 hour journey back on the bus thrown in. The driver had to stop for 3 hours due to tachograph obligations.
Now pay them players, managerial staff, real workers and that driver.
3-1 home win, protest pitch invasion and a very unusual press conference from the mister. No footie talk but the situation in the dressing room. Mutiny due the lack of bounty.
The players did their business on the pitch, the mister in the preparation for the game, the fans on the stands/pitch and all the Cantabrian population "Fuera los chorizos del Sardinero"
Mind the gap.
Racing Santander 34 pts
Guijuelo 34
Racing Ferrol 30
Ourense 29
Real Avilés 28
Real Oviedo 28 (if they drop any lower its going to make my posts even longer)
The Nitty Gritty.
The man with the little wooden hammer ruled that the squatters can carry on squatting but we are going to install a taquillero. Now this translates as a turnstile/ticket office inspector or another mouth to feed. His job is to make sure all the money that the club receives from sales is sent to pay off just one of the debts Mr HoHoHo ran up (€2.5 million). 
Hacienda have been seizing all income since August. How do you run a football club on thin air?
This decision caused an uproar and everybody piled in with the local PP calling it "disgusting." Which is a bit rich coming from them. 
This backlash prompted the  Cantabrian Supreme Justice Tribunal to come out of hiding and moan about people not respecting judges decisions. Hilarious.
Why cant some people just keep quiet.
The Merry HoHoHo Crew were spotted lurking around some dodgy street In Madrid a few hours before the Sevilla game. Another loan?
No, just another shady, suited and booted cardboard gangster mob with a big begging bowl pretending to own a Spanish football club.
O liquidation here they come lé.
Not 2B, 2B and Life in 2B. 1 year is a long time in Spanish football.
Well the año centenario is almost up. Talk about topsy turvy. 
Low Point - going down for the 2nd season on the bounce.
High Point - that night in Sevilla.
Cream on the Cake - going into 2014 top of the best 2B league in the world.
All the best to one and all down here and of course Mr Lowe up top. 
O morri crismas lé.

Posted on 16/12/2014

Life in 2B or not 2B. Two weeks is a long time in Spanish football.

Best Unbiased JuanCar Knock Out Cup Competition in the World.
Mr ¿Te Vas? and his revamped JuanCar Cup Plan. 
"Lets play the 3rd round 1st legs during the bank holiday weekend. La Constitución puts bums on seats. Olé." 
Apparently he went skiing in Huesca.
This high level marketing strategy backfired spectacularly. For example 700 attended the game in Huelva. 4,000ish at a big push in El Sardinero.

Ahhh the Sevilla game. The Boys went down 0-1 after 5 mins and from then on Los Centenarios did everything but score. Well, that and get a decent effort on target. All to play for and a nod and a wink.

What is becoming increasingly worrying are the number of broken plastic seating facilities being carried out of the north stand lower tier by the private security. I saw 7 during the Sevilla game. The problem is the metal structure underneath is a death trap. Gash your calf on one of them and you will be limping for the rest of your life unless you sever a main artery. Most people now stand on the seats of which loads are wobbly or broken when you can even get a good view these days sat down.

Mid Week Rearranged Games due to VIP Cup Duties.
The less said about Los Logroños the better. 1 city, 1 ground, 2 clubs, 2 colours, 2 presidents, 2 team buses and a load of family rows.
A routine 1-0 no frills run of the mill home win. 3 points. Crowd-1000ish.

A 6 Pointer Head to Head Bore Fest.
Ourense 0 - Racing 0 (but managed to struggle through with 9 men - 2 sent off, again).

Its Tight at the Top.
Racing Santander 31 points.
Guijuelo 31
Real Oviedo 28 
Ourense 27

The Business End of Things.. 
The players are now owed 2 months earnings and the mister and his staff 3. El mister had a proper good old moan about this in a press conference on the local telly news. Something about moral.

The players have officially reported this to La Asociación de Futbolistas (2nd rung tough nuts) and they, in turn, are going to tell the presidents and squatters who pretend to run football clubs in Spain. 
"If they´re not paid up there will be no till dipping during the winter transfer market bonanza or even any signings. You naughty boys"

The ever smiling all year round rally driving, ex monk, ex club president, ex PP militant, "ho ho ho" merchant and his merry crew have been caught with their hands in the till yet again. This time to the fiddlers tune of €1 million. This was invested in The Racing Spring Uprising in Brazil. 
Mr HoHoHo, who, in his 7 years as club president went on more international scouting missions than Baden Powell managed in a life time. Heres a video showing kind of facilities somebody else's money can buy you.

Palco News. Mr HoHoHo and Jari El Liquidador are away in the Persian Gulf looking for another bung eerrrr buyer.

The Man with The Little Wooden Hammer Friday The 13th Massacre. 
Neither side could agree so somebody will take a decision soon.

Another Fine. This time €35,400 to You First Sport Futbol España S.L. What an amazingly confidence inspiring name for a company.

O ho lé.

Posted on 02/12/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B. 
C.C.C. Vol.2. The slightly inland tidal estuary version.

tropezar - to trip up

Eco Pitch Marketing Board. 
Apparently the "playing" surface of Tropezón`s ground was made from coconut shell fibre which secretes a natural bio juice that is renowned for its sustainable lubricating qualities. And there's me thinking it was all about tripping up over your own boot laces in the away teams penalty area. 
Just look at the state of it. Fit for sowing deep rooting winter veg.

So last Thursday night the head gardener ripped it all up, binned it and a fine green grass surface was laid. Turf normally needs about 6 weeks to bed in. No divots in Tanos just family size pizza slabs flying left, right and centre. When the gardener had finished he put up a sign. "Do not walk on the grass" and shot off to the nearest church and prayed for a couple of days without rain. Needless to say it tipped it down all day Saturday.

No doubt next up it'll be toasted banana peel shavings. 
What ever happened to the good old Plastic Pitch with its carpet burn for a proper knee, elbow, nose and chin chuff.

State of the Art Water Cushioned Floating Turf Department vs Orchestrated Tiptoe Manoeuvres under Floodlights.
"112. Which service do you require?"
"Beeeeeeeeep. Yes sir."
"We need medical assistance for at least 4 twisted ankles at Tropezóns ground."
"Listen. I hope this is not a hoax call"
"No honestly the hastily erected scaffolding stand has partially collapsed following the celebration of Racings 1st goal."

It ended up 0-5 sending a tremor through the best 2B Division in the world. Heres Mariano celebrating the 2nd goal. If he had done this a few days earlier he would have ended up with 6 pack coconut chuff or worse.

All Tight At The Top Department.
Guijuelo 30 pts.
Racing 27
Racing de Ferrol 26
Real Oviedo 25
Ourense 24

Next in line for a proper clogging, Sevilla. A Friday night JuanCar Cup game. 
Nobody has still mentioned if this is the 1st time JuanCar Cup games have been played at the weekend in the best knock out national cup competition in the world.

O well chuffed lé.

Posted on 26/11/2013


Life in 2B or not 2B.

Cantabrian Costal Clashes (si,si,si).

Well it was the first of the too close for comfort derbies this weekend and it ended up Racing, been paid uptil September 3 - Noja not been paid at all so far this season 0. More goals than football. La Coja wanted to get the game called off due to illness and forfeit the game 3-0 by not showing up. Which is basically what happened. A belly rub?

Makes a change from the week before losing away in Burgos to 92min punt. Their 1st attempt on goal.

Palco News: The squatters are staying put even though they ve been given the marching orders. They're appealing. The little wooden hammer says Inmoirrabi Promociones Dos S.L now run the show. Where do these names come from? Do they have marketing departments? Big Showdown Friday 13th December. Haha.

Read an article today in the paper about the Rally Driving, Ex Monk Baker, Club Puppet President and PP Militant cashing in a cheque made to the holder (portador) for €2.5 million that was a loan from a company in San Sebastian to the club. This money has never appeared in the books. Hes already been found guilty of taking €5 million by the auditors. How much has he fiddled?

Next up Tropezón (good at tripping over their own boot laces in the oppositions area) is the following instalment of CCC.

All Tight At The Top Department.

Guijuelo 27 pts.
Ferrol 26
Real Oviedo 25
Racing 24
Ourense 23

Only 10 days to go till the Sevilla cup game game.

O bring em on lé.

Posted on 11/11/2013


Life in 2B or not 2B.

Testing testing 123....

No game this weekend for the centenarios. This was due to Salamanca Athletic getting booted out of the best 2B league in the world. No doubt another move by Mr ¿Te Vas? in turning Huesca FC into a dominant force in European football.

Cough Up Department: Not only did the players get 3 days off but last Thursday they got paid for September and the managerial staff got their wages from August. After blowing all that on the WAGS in the shiny shops around town the boys will be glad to get back to playing.

Court Cases: First up was Operation Puerto pot noodle guru Manolo Sainz. His attempt to get last years share holders meeting over ruled was thrown out. Hopefully thats the last well see of him. On yer bike Lolo and good riddance.

Then on Friday the Head Bangers were up in front of the judge for a grilling. They spent eight and a half hours declaring. Thats the equivalent 34 episodes of Jackanory. The local press were reporting beforehand that no big decisions were to be expected and surprisingly nothing happened. The Spanish law system must be the envy of the world.

In the unfair JuanCar Cup draw Racing got paired off with Sevilla so it was to be expected that they start winning away from home.

Burgos here they come.

O the milk .

Posted on 31/10/2014


Life in 2B or not 2B. Cocido Montañes vs Fabada. Pt1.
A mid week game and before you can say "turn the floodlights on" out jumps a good old court case. The hammer weavers in Madrid just got back to square one by banging in Mr Alis favour. Hes still the main man and still missing in action. This means the club ends up footing the bill. A small fortune no doubt. La ruina.
Touchline Meltdowns. Its not hard to tell who has gone longest without being paid. The mister and the goalie trainer, who have still to be paid, got there marching orders along with the sub goalie who is owed 2 months as are the rest of the centenarios. They are averaging near on a sending off a game at the moment.
All this happened after a dodgy penalty was scored by Sporting B to make it 1-1 when that game should have been put to bed 30 mins earlier.
No Rest Up Department. The Juez Unico de Segunda B handed out a 2 match ban to the mister and his right hand man and 3 for the sub goalie.
1 point from 2 games and still 2nd.
Next up its the 3 prong wooden clog shakedown. A feisty affair if there ever was one. 
O vamos lé.

Posted on 28/10/2014

Life in 2B or not 2B. The final countdown.

"The recession is over but the crisis carries on."
(Spanish National +0.1% Sausage Marketing Corporation).

Club Court Cases This Last Week Department: None. Unbelievable for the 1st time thiscentenario there was no banging of little wooden hammers and not a snotty gown in sight. Plenty of threats though.

The ex lead fiddler of the string orchestra wants his beefy conducting stick back. Meanwhile the occupying tin pot podium hogger wants everyone to spill the beans on them past cocido montañes outings. Cue wind section.

So just when you thought it was safe to listen to the news out of the frying pan jumps Mr¿Te Vas? with his new flash-fry recipe for disaster. Lets seize all their money and burn it in The Brazil Branch. All this seasons club takings down the swanny in one fowl swoop.

It was reported last Thursday that there was no money to juice up the team bus for the trip to Ferrol. No gas left in the lawn mower either as that was syphoned off weeks ago. Off hand, does anybody know a decent camp site round them parts?

Dupe Em Department: This season we've had photocopied tickets sold in the ticket office with row and seat numbers filled in by pen. The give away was the club crest came out back to front. This cash injection went to The Victims of The Over Cooked Bangers Recuperation Fund. Then the bar code turnstiles were switched off and people were getting in with previous seasons cards.

But this ultimate measure takes the biscuit. I was unable to confirm this last week as I arrived at the stadium very late and gave the turnstile attendant and private security guard a friendly good afternoon. As you do. I was let in. No body search or halo confiscation took place. 
The greetings were returned.

Certain folk, on the other hand, were asked to ID themselves at the gate. If this didn't correspond to the name on the card - no entrance amig@. That famous Spanish stadium custom of lending out your socio card to a friend for the mid-day/afternoon/evening/night game because you couldn't make it/hung over/missing in action/seeing a man about a dog goes straight down the spout. 
This is exactly how Franco started out.

Hoof & Rush Department: A game of 2 Racings. Racing won 3-2. 
Pushing the team bus them last few yards to the stadium door proved too much for the boys who suffered their 1st defeat of their last ever season. Hope they make it back in time for the mid week showdown with Sporting B in the floodlight night game. Pay that elecky bill somebody and check them light bulbs.

Real Oviedo fans, for the time being, can stop shaking in their 3 prong clogs.

O damn and blast lé.

Posted on 21/10/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B. The heat is on.

Court Cases Left, Right and Centre Breakdown: First up we had Manolo "special late night Operación Puerto hot chocolate formula guru" Sainz, better known as "on yer bike", who for some unknown reason wants the share holders meeting from last year to over ruled.

How on earth could somebody have given him club squatters rights when he was due up in front of a lenient judge in the very near future. He eventually got off along with the rest and the evidence was ordered to be destroyed. He then has the audacity to walk out of court and break down in tears. Get a grip Lolo you big baby. Sentence pending.

Then Jarri El Liquidador was given the green light to increase the air-dried sausage production output for the 6th time. I just wish he would smile once in a while....

..and just when you thought it was safe to look up pops the results of the regional tin pot governments 8 month investigation into the inside banger trading between the ex tin pot coalition cowboys (PRC-PSOE) and their associates in el palco del sardinero (PP). All this was paid for by the state of course.

The ex string orchestra, who are still practising vigorously, are to be charged with over zealous fiddling to the tune of quite a few bob. You can imagine the first day in court:
Judge: "Do the defendants plead guilty or not guilty?"
Leader of the lawyers for the accused (the state pays so there will be at least 30): "Too many bows and not enough violins my lord." 
It could even be too many violins and not enough bows. Either way everybody knows where this is going.

Blimey almost forgot this juicy tale. Out of the blue appears a Georgian sugar daddy intent on taking on the €36 million institutionalised debt, forking out up front €4.5 million to take over the club and thus keeping the liquidation lynch mob at bay. The negotiations went on all day in Bilbao of all places but finally broke down due Mr Vladimir Gocha Abzianidze,s share prices dropping in his saccharin distribution company. Who needs a fit and proper test in a fluctuating market.

On the pitch activities: No international rest up in the best 2B in the world. The only unbeaten team in the division this season.
Los Centanarios blew away Compostela last weekend 0-2. The first away win this season and then went onto play 120 minutes in Leganes in a mid week JuanCar Cup showdown and eventually won after a penalty shoot out. The last time Racing won a penalty shoot out the wheel hadn't even been invented, the players were still living in local caves and supporters carried hefty clubs.

The 3-1 home win yesterday against Celta B has pushed them into 2nd position just a point behind Ourense and one ahead of Oviedo who they play against in 2 weeks time. That´ll sort out the men from the boys.

Next up Racing Ferrol vs Racing Santander. A game of 2 Racings.

O up, up and away .

Posted on 07/10/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B.

Now heres a surprise: Meltdown Escalation Syndrome (MES). 
The south wind explained - this shoots up through Spain, from the Sahara and brings rain to most of the Peninsular but when it reaches the mountain range running west to east along the north coast it does something strange. It dips down and roars through the valleys turning them into blistering ovens. This wind combined with almost cloudless skies and soaring temperatures sends everybody well nutty. Emergency services and hospital staff here seriously dread this weather pattern. Were just over 10 days of this on the trot with temperatures well into the 30s. Dear me.

Yesterday inside the enclosed metal stadium it was hell on the baked terraces and somewhere far worse was being played out on the sporting arena. The grass was wilting and the photographers zoom lenses were drooping. Mind you we were treated to a rainbow at half time from the still working sprinkler system. What a dire game.

The Centenarios had been paid for August last Thursday as the club had received part off the insurance for last seasons relegation. Wonder how much that policy cost them? An agreement, that know doubt took place when the south wind was blowing.

Up against the boys were UD Logroño who, along with SD Logroño now jointly form what was the great CD Logroño. who spent 9 years (87 - 96) in the dizzy heights. How this split came to happen was probably due to a fall out between different air dried sausage companies involved in the club. Please do not let this happen to another club. Playing in the same stadium in the same colours and in the same league.

Consequently the players are part time. Football being their non paying weekend job. It really is a shame the Spanish film and tv industries are in such a bad way as that lot could get plenty of work as drama queens or maybe they were just looking to pull a sicky at work. We will never know. One thing that does stick out in 2B, is when the physio (Note: singular) eventually runs on. No tins of relax twang spray and not even a sponge. He just shouts "Qué pasa" and the player finally gets up.

On the going bust front the legal decision is still going to take "1 or 2 months." What ever happened to the mañana concept. That was considered slow back in the good oldpeseta days.

On the good weather front the fed suits have decided to forget that the squatters tried to fix a match last season with The Girona Sausage Board. The only squatters in the history of football who tried to fix a match after it had been played. Work that one out? Needless to say Mr ¿Te Vas? wants to grill The Racing Bangers. He is a man on a mission.

O "lets have a barby" lé.

Posted on 30/09/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B.

Yet more meltdown. First up la comisión de seguiemiento del convenio (The Delegation Following The Agreement Committee?) will decide the future of Racing this coming week. Some hope. Where on earth do all these administrators come from?

The re financing of the club has raised so far €30,423 of the €4.5 million needed to stay afloat. The team bus passed its MOT with flying colours. Broom broom.

Then these sneaky stories behind the reason los centenarios always KO at 12 midday Sunday at home. Jarri El Liquidador has, in his infinite wisdom, worked out that the younger supporters, who tend to stay out late swapping cromos, will not be in a fit state to boo him come noon.

This comes on the back of the report about fans blood pressure fluctuations and dizzy spells on the roasting terraces in León last week due to the bio policia nacional obeying the orders. At the end of the day this was probably more to do with over zealous cromoswapping at dinner time. Or is Jarri warning other clubs about The Racinguista Wrecking Crew Invasion And Pillage Mob? If true, thats just seriously perverse.

Shock Department: The rally driving, ex monk, immaculately conceived, club puppet master, ex PP militant, baker, bung merchant and small bell ringer has been booted out of the REF (The Air Dried Sausage Marketing Board). Which is some feat. Apparently he was caught taking backhanders from the rusk, ecolard, paprika and skin suppliers. Now that must be a first.

Of course its one thing having seriously bent political string pluckers trying to run the show but theres another lot who always end up poking their mitres in. Heres Jarricrawling around on all fours looking for some auto flagellating sugar daddy before he gets thrown in the slammer. The goal keeping captain praying for promotion and floral gifts to some porcelain doll in a frilly dress. La Bien Desaparecida (2B a WAG or not 2B).

On the turf news: Its looking blotchy but good. The last time Racing played a team off the park like yesterday the site surveyors were still measuring up La Alhambra. Non of that synthetic play ground spongy, fly off at any angle hoof footie but a good old well watered and sprinkler sodden, on the drip, grass game. A proper sods 3-0.

Next up Logroño at home again and, at high noon again. There are now 2 teams in Logroño, SD and UD and both of them are in the same division. Why are they not both united in a united Logroño?

el mapa de rioja - burst capillary veins in peoples cheeks due to obsessive cromoswapping.

O ponme un blanco lé.

Posted on 23/09/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B

Well the bureaucratic barometer fingers cranked up a notch this last week, as usual, which would have been a let down if it hadn't. The institutionalised meltdown road show must go on.

While the regional tin pot president (PP) was away in Mexico looking for investors for hiscable car* ride to immortality (ándale chingao) the scorching storey has been that the big chief sitting squatter and the rally driving, immaculately conceived, ex monk and ex PP militant are going to be dragged up before a judge who will decide if they are guilty of"delitos societarios continuados" which basically translates as Long Term Air Dried Sausage Manufacturer & Co.

This latest rearranged "partido" will kick of at 9.30 am local time on the 8th November and amazingly, this year. Best not expect miracles. Just look at them. No prizes for guessing which one has 2 chiringuitos in Suances and which one can store a sizeable lump of lard in his mouth without it melting.

Anyway back to the playing away from home and the short pile synthetic astro turf pitch syndrome, the no divots (chuletas or as its known in 2B - chuletones) and funny bounce surface. 
Note: Diving and faking it can result in polyamide carpet style elbow, knee and other bits burn, or worst still, first degree chuff.

The game ended in a staring at the carpet pattern 0-0. Mind you it was almost 40 degrees pitch side and some what hotter up on the terraces where any Racinguistadisplaying a SOS - Chorizos Fuera placard was told by the eco friendly policia nacionalthat they would be slung out of the ground if they didn't put it away..Now I wonder who gave them orders to do that.

As the temperature went up the 500 away supporters got kettled in and there have been reports of parents with small children who were not allowed to move to a part of the stand where there was shade. Needless to say the PN went fly swatting with their batons well before the game got under way around the centre of León.

Next up Caudal Deportivo de Mieres on the home grass.

O bump start that lawnmower .

Posted on 17/09/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B.

Well there's been no let up in the institutionalised meltdown at Racing and this last week it has all gone studs up, again.

The squatters yearly breakdown has come back with the scary statistics:
- 5 managers
- 38 signings
- €805,558 spent on legal fees (their mates of course).
- the refinancing of the club which was supposed to raise €4.5 million (thus guaranteeing existence for this season at least) came back with the staggering amount of €10,464 which will just about pay for the bus to get through its MOT. The person in charge of this ´operation` is non other than the ex monk, rally driving, ex PP militant´s son, whose papais now banned from all offical positions due to being found guilty in court of helping himself to €5 million of club takings
- and to top it all off the Camera de Comercio in Madrid dismissed the regional tin pot governments (PP) attempt at regaining its shares in the club. Who said politics and football don't go hand in hand in Spain.

This basically means they've all gone round in a full circle and are back to square one. Wonder how much all this is going to cost the tax payer? If you add to this the internal investigation into the club by the regional PP the costs must be well into the € millions. Loads of money.

If anybody is interested in a brief explanation in Spanish watch this short horror video. I won`t even attempt at putting up subtitles in English.

As for on the pitch activities its been an amazing week with 9 goals scored but 7 conceded. A 3-3 away draw against Guijuelo (good for Spanish pronunciation practise) a 3-4 away win in L´Hospitalet in the cup (after extra time) and yesterday beating the team that was top 2-1 at home. The attendances at these games were 300, 350 and 1500 respectively. Hard times.

The top 4 are now Celta B. Oviedo, Zamora and Racing in 4th place. Blimey last time they were 4th in a league the foundations were still being dug for the fortified walls around Lugo.

This stupid cup competition is a joke and the more you find out about it the worse it becomes. In the 1st round Racing got a bye and now after beating L´Hospitalet they have been drawn against Leganes (away) which is also a one off game.

The prize for getting through to the 4th round is a pairing with one of the teams that has qualified for the Champions League or the Europa League. With the 1st leg played here and the return leg away from home. It must be the most unfair cup competition in the world. The people who invented this particular rule need a good slapping. The season when these 2B club need a good cup run to generate income and they come up against one of the top teams almost straight away. Totally barmy.

The new name for the chief squatter has gone from Harry El Sucio to Jarri El Liquidador.

León here they come.

O gonig bust lé.

Posted on 17/09/2013

New stadiums - 1988.

Back in August los campos de sport del sardinero celebrated its 25th birthday. The stadium was apparently designed on the plan of Loftus Road home of QPR (along with a few all paid trips to London) with an initial build costing of just under €5 million which spiralled to €12 million by the time everyone had finished fiddling the books.

Good job the land which the club actually owned, where the previous stadium stood, was sold for 1 peseta to the local council who went onto build a English theme park which is full of palm trees. They cost €40,000 each back then (the landscapers told me) and there's 42 of them and 15 died and had to be replaced.

The first game played was against Oviedo which Racing lost 0-2. The inaugural goal was scored by Oviedos captain ´Motorin` Berto. What a name. Anybody seen him play? Was he as quick as his name suggests? Or was it something to do with his match stamina or off pitch endurance activities?

Previous to this, it had been announced that the first game was going to be Everton vs Real Madrid (you just cant keep them out of anything) hence the blue and white seats inside the stadium instead of green and white. Mass fan protests ensued and the tournament game layout was reversed but the seats stayed. 
Aye them were the days when protests worked.

Anyway last week I was having a beer with a friend when I mentioned we should do a toast to this cumpleaños. He turned round to me and asked if I knew the storey behind the build.

After digging and laying the foundations and putting in the lower tiers the next step was to erect the floodlights. This was done no doubt to trigger a payment clause. When they eventually finished the stadium the time came to test it out. When the floodlights were switched on it was instantly noticeable that the angle of inclination of the lights was wrong. The stadium roof was blocking out the light in all 4 corners of the pitch.

Solution - take off 10 meters of the roof overhang. So now we know why the front 10 rows get rained on something I have been moaning about for years without knowing why. You live and learn.

These days its just a mouldy, pigeon/seagull knocking shop with a sun faded crest, wobbly/loose paving tiles, body guards and an institutionalised stagnate pit. 
Turfs looking good though.

O what a cock up .

Posted on 02/09/2013

Life in 2B or not 2B.

2 games into the año centenario (Part 2) and Racing are off to a flying start. 2 draws on the trot, the best arranque since the inaugural ribbon cutting at Toledo cathedral.

Grim times though. The buy or not buy season ticket dilemma went to the wire. In the end I succumbed and parted with my €89, a rise of €2 from last season due to the very hard cheeked tax increase by Mr Rajoys Lying Through Their Teeth Party.

Deciding factors. Instead of the money going to the fat laden, paprika flavoured, air dried sausages at the club (yep they're still squatting) the dough goes straight to the bigger sausage brand, hacienda, who seize the money as soon as you hand it over. 
Unusually the local press have been very quiet about all this (card board gangster politicians pulling strings?) The big question is though where on earth is the revenue coming from? Nobody in this part of the woods can see the club getting past the new year.

One thing missing from La Liga this season is a crack galactic team from Gibraltar. 
Not sure where they'd build the stadium, but a few more concrete blocks - and hey presto Sea Fill Stadium complete with EcoReef.
Home of GibRovers. With a monkey on the red and white crest.
Cue: silly game posting a good club name.

O socio 5439 le.

Posted on 02/09/2013

How to run dry a football club in Spain but still get paid.

Now heres a gem. If you buy a match day ticket from the taquilla in El Sardinero you are given a photocopied slip with the price, row and seat number filled in by the attendant with her trusty pen thus avoiding the entrance fee being seized by the big sausage company in Madrid.

Somehow the club crest came out back to front.

Chorizos fuera.

Posted on 20/08/2013

Well here is a storey to warm the cockles.

Sunday. 8 people are identified and issued with a fine for playing football on the beach in El Sardinero at 8 o'clock in the evening.

Now if only the Policia Local had gone down to the football stadium on any Sunday during the football season when Racing were playing at home during the last couple of seasons and they could have fined all the 11 first team players, the subs, the manager, the coaching staff and thrown in the squatters in el palco for good luck and charged them all for pretending to be a professional football set up.

Season - 2013/2014

Posted on 14/06/2013

What a season.

If its wasn't enough getting relegated once Los Centenarios managed it twice in the space of 7 days.

Guadalajara got administrative relegation meaning it was all to play for on the last day as long as Murcia and Huesca lost.

The half time stats from he 1st half in El Sardinero:
ocasiones de gol
4 efforts against the woodwork
2 goals disallowed
.....and that was Hercules.

Now what went on a half time is anybody's guess as in the next 45 mins Hercules played dominoes, tidily winks and snakes and ladders while Racing pile drove 3 wonder goals but all to no avail as Murcia saved themselves by beating Las Palmas who got into the play offs as Ponferadina only drew in Lugo.

After the game it was rubber bullets outside the main entrance. There weren't many rioters as just over 7,000 (5000 according to some) went to the game. The highest ticket prices of the season. The chief squatter had been quoted "if they want to boo me then they'll have to pay."

The meltdown is now in full swing. Yesterdays share holder meeting was a sight for sore eyes. The auditor (book cooker) got the totting up slightly wrong to the tune off 900,000 or so euros. The woman taking the minutes kept complaining people were talking too fast so it was slow motion lingo and still her pen kept running out of ink. The notario lost it completely when she asked who was "it, they, the" when sat in front of a 2m high club crest inside the bowels of the stadium.

Needless to say all the motions got passed as Harry used his bit of paper that supposedly says hes in charge. Nobody was allowed to touch the paper but photos will appear. The minority shareholders walked out in the end. All motions passed.

Today is the official birthday party celebrating 100 years of being a registered club and yesterday was the next beginning of the new end.

For anybody who is brave enough heres the link to the 2.5 hours of democracy in action in Spain. The 1st few minutes are quite funny for the less hardy.

This video sums up a lot of things wrong. One of the guests calling el palco freakielandia and comparing it to the space bar in Star Wars. "There are even people smoking joints in there."

O bonito centenario, si señor lé.

Posted on 07/06/2013

This is getting seriously silly.

The Oliver Twist Begging Bowl Salvation Association.

If the CEED dont have too big a nosh up today the decision could be taken to give Racing 5 more points.

2 from the draw with Guadalajara and 3 from the game with Girona. This is due to using a player with out a contract or in Gironas case the manager lacking a licence to sit on the first team bench. This has been compared to a HGV lorry driver using a moped licence.

Now, both Lugo and Mirandes are being threatened with administrative relegation because of a lack of transparency in their conversions to SADs, with this so calledampliación de capital which as far as I can work out means buying your shares again.

If this carries on Racing could end up in the play offs.

What a season. What a league. What a joke.

Posted on 27/05/2013

2B or not 2B?

The sun has got his hat on hip, hip, hooray
The sun has got his hat on and is coming out to play...

...but not for long.

Good Old Moan Department.
Can anyone explain what poor old Guadalajaran trauma Mr. ¿Te Vas? has suffered in this or a previous life? There he is threatening them with administrative relegation to oblivion which would apparently be a 1st in Spain.


There they are almost a 1000m up in the air, suffer from freezing cold winters and blistering summers with an estimated 60,000 urbanised building plots for sale, an average home crowd of 3,000, amongst a population of 90,000 (give or take a few) in the top NW corner of Castilla de La Mancha in a Madrid overspill swimming pool complex but still standing on their own 2 legs in the best 2nd division in the world and with the lowest budget in the league to boot.

They are accused of all the typical Spanish football corruption but on a massive global scale. It is obviously the bastion and epi-centre of all the wrong doings and the root of all football evil in this country and they must be hung, drawn and quartered and made an example of for the good of the sport.

So as they took the to the pitch yesterday in El Sardinero it was hard not to feel sorry for them. Mind you for what its worth they might as well have sent out 11 shop dummies. 112 balones perdidios was the damming Racing statistic beating this seasons previous record of 104. Their players strolled around, whistling pop songs, hands in pockets whilst waiting for the Centenarios to give them the ball back. Their goalie spent the game watching the pigeons and seagulls when really he should have ordered a pizza, put on his sun hat, pulled up a deck chair and got stuck into a bit of decent reading material.

In the post match press conference Mr Menendez said Racing played "with their hearts and not their heads". This was particularly difficult as most of the home teams attempts at centres even failed to get above knee high including the free kicks. Not one Racing player went into the refs little black book. Thats a 1st this season as well.

Needless to say after the game the local ultras took it out on the Guadalajara team bus.

Biggest crowd of the season just a touch under 15,000. We`ll not be seeing most of them again.

4 points off salvation with 2 games to go.

O shit lé.

Posted on 20/05/2013

2B or not 2B?

The westerly fronts continued to move in bringing sleet, hail and left yet another smattering of snow to the high peaks. It certainly wasn't the kind of weather to be training outdoors. So what do you do? Make another video - The secret to staying up. Believe.Well I thought it was all about scoring goals, winning matches, collecting 3 points thus avoiding being in the bottom 3 or 4 in this case. What do us mere mortals know. Thats the 3rd video in a row. Wonder what the next one will be. Cant wait.

Maybe the agents explained to the players how much a 2nd rate actor earns in a 3rd rate soap opera and the Centenarios decided that a change of profession would see a substantial drop in earnings and decided to get their on pitch act together.

What a storming performance in utterly terrible conditions (bucketing it down nearly all game and in front of 2,262 spectators). Could never understand how you can build a football stadium without a roof.

It was all hands on deck, head down and muck in football. A pleasure to watch. Coming away with a 0-2 well deserved victory was an unexpected surprise This leaves the lads 2 points off salvation with 3 games to go. An 8 hour bus journey home from Sabadell meant they arrived back here a 7 o'clock this morning and went straight onto the training ground. Thats the stuff.

Next up Guadalajara who play tonight at home against Murcia. A relegation 6 pointer.

O lights, camera, action .

Posted on 13/05/2013

2B or not 2B?

As the mid week westerly front moved in and the leaden, drizzle laced low clouds covered the hills it really was the ideal moment to bring out a good old sob sob storey. The Centenarios captains cried "football has been cruel to us." Better not linger on that too long chaps as last season you finished bottom of the best league in the world and before yesterdays game were 2nd from bottom in the best 2nd division in the world 8 points adrift.

Never mind there's always been a dimming but still flickering light at the end of the tunnel. So who should step up and illuminate proceedings, none other than Al Pacino giving the training ground team talk. Flown in at no expenses spared low cost. 
Blimey. Never knew he spoke such good Spanish.

Anybody seeing the result from yesterdays "match" will think that this worked a treat and why the hell didn't they ship him in at the beginning of last season. Pretty near on impossible to do a worse job than the 10 previous misters (12 day Unzue not included). Plus you get the added bonus of seeing serious gangster scenes in el palco/el banquilloand not the cardboard cut-outs on display these days.

But 1. Again we have a B team contaminating the league. It only took a fleeting glimpse to recognise that RMB are an outstanding football team technically and physically. That lot could run rings round Racing with their feet tied together. So we get the fixed match approach that was always going to end up 1-0 to the home team. Little late scuffs and an opps misplaced pass, no real manly efforts on target, a bit of show boating gone wrong and a seriously piss poor ref (the advantage rule, again). Stop. Start. Fall Over. Stop. Start. etc.

But 2. What do these B teams gain from being in a position to fix matches to suit their greedy big brothers in Spanish football. Its doubtful there were mini suitcases of cash being passed from one team bus boot to the other (they're skint remember). Maybe Racing foot the bar bill at their end of season knees up mother Brown. Or worse still In the dark obscure entrails of the stadium somebody could be signing future Racing juniors away and giving pre contract 1st shout on the midfielder with the funny haircut.

Sort that one out Mr. ¿Te vas?

So Racingistas the world over get out your barometers cause next week its mediterranean high pressure Sabadell.

O si se puede lé.

Posted on 06/05/2013

2B or not 2B?

Finally, after several days of rain (139 litres per m2) the clouds dispersed and the sun shone with vigour just coinciding with the weekend. The birds sang, the flowers continued blooming and everything was fine in the world. But you just knew something would come along and spoil it. And it didn't take long.

First up we had this whip the fans into a furry video released by the club titled "no hay mayor orgullo que luchar por nuestro" which basically translates as "we like it when we get paid". It took me a while to pluck up the courage to click on the link. Cue head in hands and lie down.

Then yesterday morning this article appeared in the DM which tells of Mr Alis stake in the club being reduced from 98.9% to 1%. This means the club has a for sale sign. Price €3 million plus €1.5 for prima de emisión (what ever that means- anyone?). The shit slinging and bidding process will take place between 15th June and 15th of July. Its almost like getting into the playoffs. Que bien.

Next the dreaded weekly game. What a seriously dire show from Los Centenarios. Gone is the hoofing. Now its 1970s black and white rugby league up and unders. After Jairos masterblaster opening goal the ref blew the worst penalty decision ever witnessed allowing Almeria back into the game. Jairo then threw his toys out of the pram and got himself sent off. He got several bollockings from team mates on his way to the bath.
Hes now officially in the dog house. Later it was a run of the mill 2nd goal for the home side which leaves Racing 7 points off salvation with 5 games to go.

Next up Really Motivated Castle and Fortification Building Co.

O 2B lé.

Posted on 29/04/2013

"2B or not 2B? That was never a question."
Guillermo Muelle Agitado. Santander 26/04/2013.

After 25 mins of huffing and puffing and trying to claw back some kind of semi respectable league position whilst still attempting to stay in the best 2nd division in the world without making too much of a fool of themselves the boys developed the headless chicken, cant kick a ball in the general direction of the recycled fish net, cant control, cant pass, watch out for them protected seagulls, when are we going to get paid and "look" the squatters are rubbing their hands approach.

When the final whistle went the pitch resembled a game of musical chairs. Most of Los Centenarios hit the deck. Knackered. These lads are not fit. Word on the terraces has it they start training at 10.30 and by 1.15 they are sat down waiting for their 2nd course whilst reading jet ski brochures on Guti Adventuras in Ibiza along with the knack, crack and back procedure pamphlet 2for1 deals, and on top of that - on the house (¿LFP?).

One to add to the trivial sports book of grandes exitos de futbol español: 
Which 1st division team dropped leagues 2 seasons on the trot, one of which was their centenary year whilst using up 10 managers, over 50 players and an estimated 6502 toilet pump outs on the team bus?

The BBC2 played their predictable medio gas method. The cat playing with a mouse tactic and then they score when they want to but its got to be bonito like. Ahhh bless em. 

Anyway, these bloody B teams shouldn't even be in this exceedingly completive best 2nd division in the world. Not ever going up, not really going down unless the 1st team drops of course. Boot em out and let them set up their own league thus the likes of Tenerife, Burgos, Cadiz, Logroño, Salamanca or even at a bit of a push Real Oviedo could come back into the fray. Not that it means much for the poor long term suffering Racinguistas. Noja here they come.

The investigation by the regional tin pot brewery organised piss up cant run commission still goes on but unfortunately I cannot follow it any more Totally at my wits end and have developed a serious nervous twitch which involves taking big bites out of my PC mouse. This is exactly what happens when you use pure pie lard as a mouse lubricant and has nothing to do what so ever with the new posting system layout which I previously blamed or the present day creekless, paddleless, hopeless, causeless, rudderless and gonadless situation in hand.

The end of the season riots are near. Mark my words. This is going to get seriously messy.

O Billy Shakes-Piers lé.

Posted on 22/04/2013

Boiler-room cowboys. Yeehaa.

Well thats the play offs mathematically out of reach. Even though Los Centenarios lost they did manage to move up a place in the league. Not quite sure how that happened but they are still 3 points adrift with 7 games to go.

After the game Mr Menéndez claimed "playing like that we´re hard to beat." Well Id like to know the linear meter hoofage stat for the game followed by head hoof after head hoof, clumsy foot control, misplaced pass then a nasty foul figures and how come Villarreal won. Conceding a goal in the 46th minute. Wake up chaps the 2nd half is under way.

As always its been hard not to notice the off field activities. The AUPA legal boys have discovered that the Dutch company register number that the squatters have been using to pretend they are in control of the club corresponds to 2 companies.

WGA Sports Holding B.V. 
Is this the kind of thing that goes on during corner kicks?

WGA Assets and Wealth Man B.V 
Im guessing B.V. is short for bravo.
No wonder they failed the fit and proper test at Blackburn.

Could anyone imagine buying anything (ie. a push bike) from a company with a name like that never mind making an investment:
"So who should I make the cheque out to?"
"Eh, urm, WGA Assets and Wealth Man B.V."
"Bye bye."

This weekend In the best 2nd division in the world 6 clubs failed to score, 13 clubs scored one meaning only 3 clubs scored more than one.

Next up BBC2 at 9 o'clock Friday night. Yet another must win match.

O los goles son amores lé.

Posted on 15/04/2013

Moral draining space hoppers.

Well after a week of looking at the league table sideways on its back to upside down.

If the team you support goes down fighting with their boots on then there really is no complaining. Saturdays boots off, feet up, stick on a pirated DVD, a couple of slices of cheese on toast, a nice cuppa and nod off for a bit performance can only mean one thing: them pay cheques from last month bounced.

It was also interesting to see Mr Ali's interview in Vanity Fair (there's a street cred magazine for football fans and club owners the world over if ever I saw one). Apparently hes praying. Just like the 10,608 Racinguista disciples inside the stadium, as were the players and staff when they saw their bank statements. I bet the squatters got paid.

In this exclusive article Mr Ali stated he trusts god more than his lawyers. These must be the same lawyers who didn't get paid and he still has debts outstanding with the taxi company, the handbag suppliers, the shiny shoe store and the dodgy lingerie shop.

The most worrying thing though is he stated he is not the CEO of WGA the supposed owners of Racing and has nothing to do with them and his signature is not worth the price of a dinky pie.

So that begs the question: Who the bloody hell owns the club?

O down in the dumps again .

Posted on 08/04/2013

Pay packet moral injections and P.S.V. driving lessons.

After all the negativity surrounding the season so far at last the tide seems to be turning. There are so many positives to be taken.

The players have obviously been paid their salary for March.
Being out of the bottom 4 after taking 4 points off the top 2 in the space of a week.
19 points away from the play offs with 9 games to go.
Holding onto a lead for over 85 mins. Dog owners take note.
Saturday was the 1st time the Centenarios wore the retro kit away from home.
Not even a whiff of a court case this week.
The team bus passed the MOT (ITV). The driver has also been paid.
Official team photo released showing the driver how to park the bus.

Later whilst reading the local papers MBM match coverage it was interesting to note the following entry:

Minuto 8. Gol 0-1. The reporter was certainly not mixing or mincing words with that one. If somebody is going to cover the game at least put in a bit of effort especially as it was the only goal of the game.

Lets see:

Min. 8. Yuste picks up a stray ball just inside the Alcorcón half and sets off like a bull at a gate, slipping past 2 opposition players like they didn't exist. This is when he puffed out his chest, neck muscles bulging, beady eyes homing in on the onion sack with Steve Austin bionic man on a mission style.

As 2 defenders tried to close him down he just barged through them and released a powerful toe poke grass cutting wobble and weave missile projected whack from all of 28 meters. As the big toe attempt bounced and bobbled its way towards the left hand post the Alcorcón goalie dived but failed to get his outstretched hand to it due to the NASA space station docking precision of the shot which crossed the goal line 3.681 mmm inside the post. What a goal sending the travelling Rainguistas and tv viewers into a serious state of shock. 0-1.

There its not that hard is it?

Bring on Girona.

O si se puede lé.

Posted on 01/04/2013

Shrill Fan-boys and Moral Injections SAD.

Yesterday for the 1st time ever I sat in the top tier of the stadium. In the south end. I do so prefer the touchline where you can see the bulging muscles, hear the crunching tackles, softly flighted centres, the ripple of goal netting, smell the steaming grass and still find time to remind the ref of his mums latest job application.

The on pitch Racing performance witnessed was like the dawn of a new age even though it was a mid day kick off. Time and time again Racing shredded the Elche defence and it was hard to tell which team was top and which was floundering in the best 2nd division in the world. Its starting to pay off this reading the league table upside down. It finished a purists 0-0 and we finally saw something resembling football. About bloody time.

But as usual it was the off the pitch activities that took the centre stage and for once it was nothing to do with dip stick regional politicians patting each other on the backside. The bottom line of the inquiry was a recommendation from the committee that the politicians vote in favour of prosecuting themselves. Good luck with that chaps. Always knew that lot were a waste of space but until now Id never realised how big that space was.

Yesterday though the real action was on the terraces involving the 10,119 referees. Probably around 5 to 6,000 were season ticket holders the rest made up from locals and tourists taking up the offer of free tickets (10 mins before ko they we queuing round the block). The travelling Elche fans came in 2 groups - the scarf, big drum and bobble hat bunch (200 or so) and these hood wearing yobs (80 or so) doing the funny wave down in the segregated cage.

With pantomime precision the 2 groups took it in turns to sing with the bobble hat mob booing the hoods whenever they did the funny wave. Further off to their (and our) right, in the main stand was a group of 20 primary school kids who actually out sung the lot of them with a fine rendition of Racing Racing Ra Ra Ra.

So if you ever meet an Elche radical remind them of the time a bunch of shrilling 7 year old fan-boys drowned them out in El Sardinero. The most hilarious terrace scene I have ever witnessed.

Needless to say before the game there were handbags over coffees and brandy buckets in the bars around the stadium. Harry, the chief squatter came out with this ridiculous statement.

O go ahead punk make my day lé.

Posted on 18/03/2013

Moral Injection Inc. Mk.3. The Ethnic Inquiry Continuezzzzzz....

After last weeks "in the small room" revelations from Pernia (ex club president) and Montalvo (ex club owner) this week it was the turn of the now not in power but still moaning ex regional "coalition cowboys" government (PRC & PSOE) trying to explain how they managed to redefine the word incompetent.

First up we had anti razor blade campaigner and ex piggy bank minder Agudo (still sounds like a surgical intervention to me) who spilt the beans when he said Montalvo regularly turned up late to the meetings because he "had been having a siesta" (kip). Could this mean there was a sofa or even a fold up camping bed in the little room?

Next up, ex we like paintings, wealthy visitors and sitting in el palco after a seafood nosh up on the house Marcano who said everything "went to plan" without actually mentioning what the plan was and funnily enough failed to refer to the wee room.

Then up stands ex big chief, anchovy junkie, didn't own a pair of shoes until he was 10, hand waving, shouting tv popularista, taxi to la Moncloa, part time clown and never bought a ticket for a game or a round of drinks in his life Revilla who went as far as to say Mr. Ali was really at the end of the day "un pufista".

Now we had to put that through Jolly Good Show Translations who came back with "too much GM yeast in relation to eco flour, natural butter, imported sugar and free range egg cake mixture which overly reacted to the organic cream and bio lemon rind inserted centre addition resulting in a bloated end product usually encountered in a weekend sardinero surfers bedsit kitchen ozone burning zone but mainly due to dodgy oven time procedures". The positive of this dubious regional autonomous baking recipe cross examination meant Revilla became so flustered that he refused to answer any more questions. 
At last, somebody has found a way of shutting him up.

Then, as if the hibernation period was almost over, out pop los patronos de la Fundación Racing (whatever that means) who released a statement regarding the future"asesoramiento y orientación" of the club. 
For all you budding Spanish learners out there now thats how you say sinking ship.

O S.O.S. lé.

Posted on 11/03/2013

Moral Injection Inc. Mk.2.

Well Racinguistas have really been thrown into the mixer this last week.

First up we had Pt. 1 of the Regional Governments Inquiry into the ex Regional Governments funding of Racing (€37,000,000?) from the Regional Governments Tourism Promoter (CanTur) carried out by the now Regional Governments ministers pretending to be lawyers and judges.

Most people were slightly confused before it had even started. By the end of the Tuesday it was a total and unprecedented meltdown. Even Mr. Ali who was cited failed to show. Land Locked Credit Suisse also failed to turn out.

So take stage ex club president and ex monk but still rally drives at the weekend Snr. Pernia who declared to not really remember who was in the meeting rooms, who signed the deals and was actually "out of the room" when the nitty gritty business went down. He was probably praying.

Then later in the afternoon Snr. Montalvo (spend other peoples dinner money business tycoon, ex club owner and indoor woolly scarf wearer - due to central heating cuts in public cupboards) who couldn't quite remember who was in the other meeting rooms but clearly stated "its not my fault" and declared he was actually "in the toilet" when the under table envelope shuffling took place.

Heres the link so nobody thinks Im making all this up. As if I could.

Then while checking the Spanish Sports Press (terrible I know) I came across this still unpublished in these parts article about a Lend Money to Lost Causes Garden Shed Promotione & Squeeze´em Hard Group SA who have seized €2,500,000 of Racings empty till takings in return for a prior bung % agreement involving the ex monks loaded dice and wipe the board clean winning monopoly lucky streak in el palco del sardinero.

While all this was going down, at the state of the art training ground, Racings PR miracle worker (Emilio de Dios) had decided to have a word with Mister Gay. The idea was to demote el misters No. 2 (Snr. Perez) to sweeping up duties as the players were knackered due to his over zealous training methods. El mister refused this authoritarian infringement and was shown a straight red card for dissent. Thats the 3rd straight managerial red in under 6 months and 10 in just over 2 years if you include the 3 musketeers. 
Run out of fingers. Toes next.

So before you can say "pack your bags and drive to Santander from Gijon whilst respecting the ever fluctuating speed limit signs" into the ring jumps a well pumped up but already looking pretty punch drunk Mister Alejandro Menedez.

O que valiente lé.

Blimey forgot to mention the weekly game. Nice little 3 points in the bag from a direct rival, Murcia. A fine show under the circumstances from Los Centenarios with an all hands on deck approach. Before the game they were 7 points from safety. Thats 2 wins out of 2 wearing the original shirt colours. They should start using it at away matches as well.
Impressive crowd - 11,6i3.

Next up bottom of the league Xerez at home.

O ¿podemos? lé.

For a few years now I have been saying that Racing Santanders league form has been a direct reflection of the state of the economy.

From playing 1st division footie and UEFA qualification they have been relegated and are now 3rd from the bottom of the 2nd division 3 points from safety.

Here are this weeks off field activities. Its been a bit hectic.

Moral Injection Inc. Mk.2.

Well Racinguistas have really been thrown into the mixer this last week.

First up we had Pt. 1 of the Regional Governments Inquiry into the ex Regional Governments funding of Racing (€37,000,000?) from the Regional Governments Tourism Promoter (CanTur) carried out by the now Regional Governments ministers pretending to be lawyers and judges.

Most people were slightly confused before it had even started. By the end of the Tuesday it was a total and unprecedented meltdown. Even Mr. Ali who was cited failed to show. Land Locked Credit Suisse also failed to turn out.

So take stage ex club president and ex monk but still rally drives at the weekend Snr. Pernia who declared to not really remember who was in the meeting rooms, who signed the deals and was actually "out of the room" when the nitty gritty business went down. He was probably praying.

Then later in the afternoon Snr. Montalvo (spend other peoples dinner money business tycoon, ex club owner and indoor woolly scarf wearer - due to central heating cuts in public cupboards) who couldn't quite remember who was in the other meeting rooms but clearly stated "its not my fault" and declared he was actually "in the toilet" when the under table envelope shuffling took place.

Heres the link so nobody thinks Im making all this up. As if I could.

Then while checking the Spanish Sports Press (terrible I know) I came across this still unpublished in these parts article about a Lend Money to Lost Causes Garden Shed Promotione & Squeeze´em Hard Group SA who have seized €2,500,000 of Racings empty till takings in return for a prior bung % agreement involving the ex monks loaded dice and wipe the board clean winning monopoly lucky streak in el palco del sardinero.

While all this was going down, at the state of the art training ground, Racings PR miracle worker (Emilio de Dios) had decided to have a word with Mister Gay. The idea was to demote el misters No. 2 (Snr. Perez) to sweeping up duties as the players were knackered due to his over zealous training methods. El mister refused this authoritarian infringement and was shown a straight red card for dissent. Thats the 3rd straight managerial red in under 6 months and 10 in just over 2 years if you include the 3 musketeers.

Run out of fingers. Toes next.

So before you can say "pack your bags and drive to Santander from Gijon whilst respecting the ever fluctuating speed limit signs" into the ring jumps a well pumped up but already looking pretty punch drunk Mister Alejandro Menedez.

O que valiente lé.

Posted on 04/03/2013

Moral Injection Inc,

At Friday mornings state the bleedin obvious pre match press conference Mister Gay said Racing are facing an important month (5 games) and he would be happy with 2 wins. Well I always thought the idea was to approach every game as potentially winnable and if you lose blame the ref or at least put into question his mums professional tax declarations. 
But there you go.

That video had only been up on El Diarios web site 30 mins and out pops an article from the Chief of Squatters SA saying that from the end of April the money will have run outand the club will not be able to pay anyone, anymore anything, anyhow, anyway etc.

Why couldnt they just wait. Honestly theres no need to be an economist to work that one out. Sorted or relegation fodder?

Pay them March and then April and later towards the end of May or even the 1st week of June (last game of season 8th) then just drop a slight hint to one of the ball boys that they are skint.

Accordingly the 3 players wih the biggest debts were dropped. Apparently Its got something to do with Marianos abaratar el despido equation-al i.e. cheaper plan.

As for on pitch "activities" the game was of 2 halves. From a Racing point of view both seriously bobbins. 16 times Los Centenarios were caught offside and 4 times upside down and one even ended up inside out. His condition is described as favorable. Got a serious panel bashing 2-0.

Drum Roll Big Time Post Match Cant Really Blame The Refs Mum Or Quinis 88th Min Penalty Scuff That Is Still Orbiting The Earth With Dead Pigeon App Press Conference from Mister Gay "el principal problema de mis hombres ha sido con la pelota"

O shit .

Posted on 25/02/2013

Happy Birthday dear Racing.
100 and 2 days old and an hour less in the Canary Isles.

3 things stood out this weekend for me

The result. 2-0 meaning Racing move up to 3rd from the bottom in the best 2nd division in the world. That takes the tally to 9 points this month. The last time that happened....etc. Well done players, Mister Gay and staff.

The kit. What a lovely touch.

Plus these videos from Las Peñas and the club.

Soria here they come.

O all centenarioed out. lé.

Posted on 25/02/2013

Welled up reading that. Missing 1st division footie big, big time but the show must go on.

Happy Birthday dear Racing.
100 and 2 days old and an hour less in the Canary Isles.

3 things stood out this weekend for me

The result. 2-0 meaning Racing move up to 3rd from the bottom in the best 2nd division in the world. That takes the tally to 9 points this month. The last time that happened....etc. Well done players, Mister Gay and staff.

The kit. What a lovely touch.

Plus these videos from Las Peñas and the club.

Soria here they come.

O all centenarioed out. lé.

Posted on 18/02/2013

Its tough being 2nd from bottom.

No telly coverage and only one radio station outside Huelva covered the game.

Studio: "What minute are we in?"
Commentator: "The 72nd minute."
Studio: "How long to go?"
Comm. "About 18 mins plus time added on."

Where do they find these people.

Recre won 1-0 with Racing having 1 shot on goal in 92nd min but did manage 3 juegos elaborados whatever that means.

Mister Gay said afterwards "its very hard to win 3 matches on the bounce." Too true. The last time that happened to Racing la armada invencible was still afloat.

Well its not often you get a football club squatter on the front page of Hola. Poor Campos,la nietisima has booted him and his dogs out of the house. This no doubt means he will now be squatting full time at the ground. I just hope he picks up the dog poo when exercising them hounds on the pitch.

Only 2 new court cases this week.

First up Sancho Míchell having a pop shot at the regional president. Michell was booted out of the PP for "tración e indignidad" (till dipping) and is now Racings Institutional Director even though theres still no recognised institution. Served his time with Mario Conde and Francisco Cascos. Say no more.

Something new I found out was the appointment of Marcos Argumosa as the gestor de los redes sociales del Racing. Always wanted to know how you said moderator in Spanish.

This lot have never paid to watch a game of football in their lives but there they all are booted and suited along with the little Racing pin.

These lot are the typical "this club was going nowhere before we showed up." 
Well they going somewhere now. Down.

Then this mob raise their ugly head demanding an investigation. First up Mr Ali. He wont show so thats a spanner in the works before that ball even starts rolling.

Wonder which of these is the largest in Spain.
Ex politicians furthering their "careers" at football clubs
People using a club to get a foothold on the political ladder.

O me me me lé.

Posted on 11/02/2013

A whiff of salvation?

It seems like the penny has dropped in certain parts of the Sardinero stadium. Instead of the usual moaning and groaning there are encouraging grunts starting to be heard. Saturdays performance wasn't the most blistering but an early goal was hung onto meaning that Racing moved off the bottom. The first back to back victories since September.

In the local press match report there were 3 comments this week with only 1 being posted after the game had finished. When they lose everybody piles in.

A divorce in the pipe line. Not the one most people wanted but at least they cant blame Francos grand daughter (la nietisima) and her ever expanding fitted wardrobe contents any more. The down side is now Campos is not now getting his weekly pocket money so his fat fingers will be in the clubs till.

If anybody fancies a braguetazo (translate that) she is in the love market.

Another week another court case. This time against Harry the squatter and the ex monk for un delito societario continuado (long term till dipping). This was filed by the Association of ex Racing players. 500 sheets long. Dont think ill read that one.

Hope the team bus is up to the 1820 km trip to Huelva and back

O now who is going down lé.

Posted on 04/02/2013

Nothing like a court case to get the week started.

Poor judges they must dread the working week. Racings lawyer who used to work for Mr Ali but didn't get paid now works in the squatters camp. He referred in court to his employers as Real Santander club de Racing.

If he cant even get the clubs name right there not much hope of him being paid by them either. None of the air cured bangers were present. Mr Alis new lawyer also failed to show. Probably not been paid.

Who did make an appearance though was Aurelio Almeida looking to purchase a club.

By the end of Deadline Day Day the squatters had bought 3 new players taking their term "in office" to 21 signings in total. Bung heaven.

Mister Gays pre match press conference turned up a surprise. "Resurrection." Still 8 weeks to go until easter and they're already at it.

As for Saturdays match it was a game of 2 Reals.
In the 1/2 half Sporting should really have put it to bed along with a good night kiss The 2nd half was a really well executed smash and grab from Racing. At the final whistle players and travelling fans behaved as if they'd just won the league. At least the love in is finally over.

They're still bottom though.

O really lé.

Posted on 28/02/2013

Well, just for a change, its been a painful week.

First up we had el mister saying the squad was not good enough to play attacking football. I don't get it. Bottom 2 points adrift, 6 off safety and you are going to play defensive. I nearly gave up there and then.

This soon brought me back though: Real Madrid de Santander.

Its nice to see plans are a foot to replace Racings riddled hull.

No club representative present which openly shows the fat laden, paprika flavoured, air dried sausages don't actually represent the club. None of the actual sausage squatters or rally driving ex monks either just the usual tin pot if tried bath cant run mob, another skint bank and the first vulture to the kill.. 
30 Euro signing up fee then 12 Euros a month. Dear me.

If all that wasn't enough we had this gem at Fridays press conference that really took the biscuit.
El técnico cree que una de las claves es impedir que los equipos contrarios hagan gol.(The boss reckons its important to stop the opposition from scoring).

Gave that man a medal. There was me thinking heres another spongy but Mister Gay is made of sterner stuff.

Now we also know why the ex monk has been to Brazil so many times. Aurelio Almeida comes a sniffin.

Saturdays match went totally pear shaped. Racing scored first (oh no) and went on to get 7 yellow cards, 3 reds and ship 3 goals. Along with 8 minutes added on time. Never seen the likes.

Today there was yet another court hearing. After watching this video last week I just folded. Spanish law. Phew. Why cant they speak normal Spanish like everyone else. What the hell does "enemistad manifiesta" even mean. 
Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough?

Next up the 1-1 derby love in.

O where's Mister Ali when you need him lé.

Posted on 21/02/2013

Bonito centenario, si señor.

This comment was lifted from the match report in the local paper Just about sums it up really and who said sarcasm doesn't work in Spanish.

Bottom two points adrift and slowly approaching open sea rudderless where the inevitable sinking will take place. The positives from Saturdays game were only conceding 1 goal when Las Palmas could have had a boat load and the weekly Racing shot on target had a bit of humph in it instead of the usual bobble. They've only scored 16 all season the lowest in the best 2nd division in the world.

The match wasn't even televised here and the local radio station were still negotiating with their friends in Gran Canary until 18 mins after KO.

Followed some of the game on the DMs minute by minute. Grim journalism. For exampleMin 29 Gol de Las Palmas. Gol de Vitolo. Which basically translates as Shit but was it a good goal, a header, a shot etc. Come on people if you send a reporter at least make him work a bit.

Also saw Estudio Estadio has re launched for the 35th time and its on every day. Does anyone watch it? Is it still crap?
The theme tune combined with Juan Carlos Rivero (the presenter) brings on a twitch and gives me the urge to self harm.

Next up Córdoba who shunted Murcia 5-0 yesterday. Good grief.

O when is it going to end .

Posted on 14/02/2013

El Hércules se levanta.

Just when you thought Hércules was down and out along come the kiss of life Racing rescue service and not only resuscitate the giant but he actually gets out of bed, yawns, scratches private parts and growls.

The first home victory in 4 months and with 5 unemployed players shipped in from the local job centre. No winter signings just put up an advert in the INEM offices. Not a bad idea.

According to Racing were weak and insecure. Which probably explains the only shot/bobble on goal was in the 73 min. Back to the drawing board for Mister Gay.

Meanwhile back in town the baking, rally driving, ex monk has been hit with another dose of cough medicine. The most amazing part of this farce is that in 2008 he bought a 80,000 euro Audi on drip. This is a 5 year finance agreement meaning the monthly instalments are still being paid off during the centenary year. Beat that.

At least the squatters are digging deep. They've now got a Tiago. Everyone who is anyone has a Tiago.

Stat of the weakend from the best 2nd division in the world: The ref in the Huesca vs Recre game broke down after all of 24 secs.

O RACE lé.

Posted on 07/12/2013

Here we go............

Well after all of 2 mins 25 secs of the first game of the centenary year and Racing go 0-1 down.

This is when you know that: 
1. This is the end or 
2. They've hit rock bottom and the only way on is upwards.

So instead crumbling like a badly baked roscón they went on the attack chomping at the bit frenziedly. Amazing. At last.

Wave after wave of relentless forward play, pinging the ball about, 15 or 20 passes repeatedly strung together penetrating deep into the Ponferradina half and leaving them on the back foot for almost all the rest of the game shaking in their boots.

They created more ocasiones de gol on Saturday than they've managed in all the season so far. Not quite tiku taku but they're getting there. Just needs a bit of fine tuning on the finishing.

It was good of Los Reyes Magos to pay a visit bearing gifts of the flukiest goals ever but by heck they were deserved. A draw would have been unjust.

It was great to see the scorers make a bee line for the dug out to celebrate with the coaching staff. Mister Gay was up in the stands as he got sent off in his 1st game in charge after having a chat about the profession of the ref's mother. Yet another world record that earned him a 3 game ban.

The next 2 games are both away (Hercules bottom and Las Palmas 8th) and will define the season. 4 points and they are on. 6 and I will be taking a dip in the nearest fountain. 0 back to square 1.

Well done to all of them except the fat laden, paprika flavoured, air dried sausages of course.

And if that wasn't enough excitement for a weekend yesterday was La Vijanera

O bravo lé.

Posted on 26/12/2012

What a year.

Well it has truly been a most remarkable 2012 at Racing. They have managed to break more world records than Roy Castle and the McWhirter brothers managed to witness in their entire lives.

Lets just take a look at a few of them, or not.

Mr Ali.
A sugardaddy with no sugar and as he recently said he considers Racing one of his children not much of a daddy.
Longest club owner absenteeism. All year. Beat that.
Still wanted by Interpol. They're doing a crap job.
Had his plane confiscated. Now gets around on a flying carpet.
Biggest unpaid taxi bill (36,000 euros + interest accumulation)

El Palco.
The only presidential zone hell bent on trying to prove the Mayans were right. 
2 presiding presidents. Ex monk rally driver and squatters representative
Largest club account spending on shiny shoes and hand bags.
Closest homo sapien resemblance to fat laden, paprika flavoured, air dried sausages.
The worlds highest paid squatters
Highest number of zonal follow throughs. No one even bats an eyelid these days. 
Most embarrassing share holders meeting ever.
The highest no. of hours spent thumb twiddling, looking out of windows, scratching heads, staring at downward spiralling graphs and the most "Que coño vamos hacer"desperation grunts. 
I actually thought Rajoys mob would get that one but the lads pulled it off when it came to the crunch..

The team.
Longest run without a win. This one is under debate but I'm sticking with it until somebody proves its wrong.
Highest number of balones perdidos in a professional match - 104
The highest hoof kilometre accumulation - to the moon and back
Largest seagull and pigeon casualties inside a stadium. Ball kill.
Largest number of players drafting their transfer requests for Los Reyes Magos.
Lowest percentage of possession in a year (11.614%)
Ball boy possession % higher than the teams and they don't get paid a wage, have a contract or pay tax.
Highest number of weeks in the drop zone (over 2 divisions)
1 assist in all the year - Munitis helping an old lady across the road.
The longest toilet occupancy on internal flights in the history of Spanish aviation - 97.8% (this would have been 100% if it wasn't for taking off, landing, turbulence and in flight beverage trolley manoeuvre procedures.
The highest m3 toilet paper consumption in 12 months.
Quickest goalkeeper sending off 04/03/12 - Toño 92.4 seconds vs Rayo
The smallest player gonad size / on pitch performance ratio
The team bus with the highest no. of toilet pump outs in a year - 2,538
The highest no. of counter attacks that break down before they even start ie. all of them.

The managers
3 in just the last 4 months. Mind you there still a few days left to make it 4 in 4.
Shortest ever managerial career Unzue 12 days. He never even sat on the bench for a competitive match.
Highest eyebrow arching ever seen at a press conference - Fabri
At one point there were 3 managers at once - Rajoys new redundancy policy soon brought that to an end.

The fans
Highest neuron loss in 12 months
Highest hair loss
Highest alcohol intake
The largest health bill, highest no. of hours soul searching, spent on a shrinks couch, in group therapy, blue sky dreaming, spilling milk and the largest prescription pill consumption in the history of medicated humanity
Mind you we did get a "see you soon" card from the HastaLosCojones Rehab Clinic.

The list actually goes on but as my psychiatrist told me last week "get a life before its too late."

O hipi niw yera .

Posted 0n 20/12/2012

Organised chaos Part 2 - Democracy Smoke Screens in Action.

Quite another amazing editorial from the local press.

"Quien ayer actuó con temple, sensatez y profesionalidad fue la Policía."

Now thats not something you often read.

For anybody who is remotely interested in the BlameGameSpain this perfect reflection of the state of the nation is well worth looking at.

O shit lé.

Posted on 19/12/2012

Organised chaos.

Cant even have a share holders meeting at Racing these days without a mini riot taking place.

Took place in the bowels of the stadium. I did say that press/conference room was smaller.

Started, if thats the word, 1 1/2 hours late. Not a good sign.

Anyone with less than 50 shares refused entrance. Thats illegal apparently.

All the chairs are tied together to stop people slinging them.

The press were only given 5 mins to cover the event and the the squatters ordered the police to remove them.

The police refused as they are all credited journalists for todays meeting. Some are share holders as well.

The squatters take stage met by shouts and everyone turning their backs to them. They said that until the press are removed the meeting will not begin.

The squatters leave the stage and retire back to their plush offices communicating that the meeting has been cancelled and will take place tomorrow behind closed doors. ie no press as their passes are only for todays meeting.

The small share holders decide to carry on without the squatters and their representative takes the stage. REVOLUTION.

Club private security remove the small share holders representative from the stage. Booooo.

The squatters return to say the meeting is over before it even begun.

The lawyers share holders and a notary try again to take over. They are told this is not valid.

Meeting cancelled.

O what a mess lé.

Posted on 17/12/2012

Another week 
+ another mister (thats 3 in just over 4 months) 
x best 2nd division in the world 
= same old storey but worse.

It didnt take long for the news to spread - 104 balones perdidos in 94 mins which is apparently a new world football record. 
Thats one every 54 and a bit seconds.

The balones perdidos translation proved to be a bit confusing (for us) at the time (midday KOs) so we sent off a quick email to JollyGoodShowTranslations to clear up this query who came back straight away with the following possibilities:

"- a rein-acted Roman castration ceremony for future empress apprentice chastity belt installers
- mass impalement at the spiky park fence due to breaking the speed limit on the flying fox, slide, swings and roundabouts
- some kind of exhausted, underpaid, over zealous and careless testicle surgeon down the local hospital extraction unit
- the long lost and yet undisclosed casualty figures from Rourke's Drift
- a serious losing streak at the marathon pinball championships
- the latest weekly neuron loss count of the average Racing Fan 
- local male brown bear impotency levels due to global warming
- a terrible accident pile up involving the regional cycling team with a rather sharp road barrier."

They obviously got the wrong end of the stick (and they do tend to bulk out slightly) so we sent off another email saying it was related to this afternoons match.

They came back with the following:

"Look were a serious company and please if you wish to continue using our services.
1. You have still not paid for our last translation. Cough up or well squeeze your gonads until they resemble glazed cherries.

2. Stop taking the piss on a Sunday afternoon with a hangover the size of a female blacksmiths *******. 
It is physically impossible to give away through misplacing, misdirecting, mishitting or surrendering 104 in play ball concessions in 94 minutes of football."

Ah well. Still confused.

What really stood out yesterday though was the Sabadell kit. What the hell is going on? 
Is this some kind of same sex marriage approach strategy by the church?


Apart from all this the main storey this week has to be Fabris sacking. Only one of the 7 squatters turned up at the ground to explain the situation. He was met by 2 journalists who were instantly removed from the entorno of the stadium by Dirty Harry's bouncers.

Then in the press conference when Mr Gay was finally wheeled out one of the hacks had the nerve to ask "If he (Harry) was actually institutionally able to sack the manager."

The hack was told to give up the microphone and promptly booted out. Which led to the Spanish press association sending off a carrier pigeon (the phone line has been cut, the fax has run out of ink and the postman has hurt his ankle after tripping up on a loose paving stone) complaining about freedom of speech etc. Good luck with that chaps.

The press centre in El Sardinero used to be quite big now its the size of a small corridor. This can only be due to the office extensions for the squatters and their new fully fitted shiny shoe and hand bag wardrobes or a central heating cut back.

Only one game away (literally) from the start of the centenary year.

Next week bottom. Fijo.

O another nail in the coffin .

Posted on 10/12/2012

Cracks in the boiler.

"That was humiliating but I'm not going to resign. We are looking like a 2B team"

Combine that with the fact RM2 had gone 7 games without a win and the only team change in Racing was the goalie who happened to ship 4 goals in front of an eye watering 2,497 spectators at the Alfredo Di Stéfano stadium = what the hell is Mister Fabri doing this morning at the training ground.

My moneys on checking up on his pay off when he finally gets the boot. Now 2nd bottom (poor Mirandes) which after next weekend means they'll be bottom. This total has to be added onto the 200,000 euro pay off to Juan "only lasted 12 days" Unzué.

There is also the slightly delicate situation of which president can or cant sack him.

The trouble is who in their right mind would take the job on. I thought about sending the tortoises CV in but seeing as they've crashed for the winter I sent mine off instead. You never know.

Another big problem is the number of players drafting their transfer requests for Los Reyes Magos.

Also wouldn't mind knowing how much the squatters 3 day handbags and shiny shoes shopping binge, nosh ups and posh hotel bill on the Gran Via cost the club.

O gis us a job, I can do that .

Posted on 03/12/2012

Dos penaltis y una chapuza.

After dragging themselves round the north of Spain for the last 5 days Almeria finally went home yesterday afternoon taking all 3 points from el sardinero with them whilst still recovering from Thursday nights loss away in Vigo after extra time.

A game that probably finished after mid night. The delights of Spains attempt at a competitive cup competition whilst at the same time keeping interest in the best 2nd division in the world alive. 
6500 for yesterdays midday KO.

Good job as a fresh team would have walloped Racing who now play with most of the stadium heckling the squatters off field activities. All this protesting inside the ground is getting a bit too much. Conceding a goal in 93rd minute shut em up. 3-4.

The shit fan went into over drive last week and the blame game went mental.
The ex monk rally driver ex/still president claimed he hadn't read the auditors report 24 hours after it being made public. 5,000,000 euros hes got to answer for and hes not even read it. My names not on it and I read it. All 38 pages and pretty sharpish.

The amazing still free but not for long Spanish justice system bottom line means its all Mr Ali's fault and he wasn't even on the scene when the fiddling was going on. Now there's a surprise.

Today he has come out with the earth moving statement that his record is immaculate, probably like his conception which may explain that smug smile he permanently carries.

O saltodeltigre lé.

Posted on 28/11/2012

Back to square one.

Never seen one of these before. 38 pages long. Wonder how much this lot costs and who pays?

Bottom line is the people responsible for coughing up the 5,000,000 euros are The Baker and Mr Ali.

The baker will wobble off back to the monastery and you'll not get a word out of him once hes in there. Just sneak in one night, take the vows and mums the word. Mr Ali has been grounded due to bad weather.

O concursoordinario279/2011 lé

Posted on 28/11/2012

The demise of a football club - the blame game.

Ex president/still president Francisco "tinker, tailor, solider, spy, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief" Pernias cv includes:

Trappist monk
Flight Lieutenant
Rally driver
Regional minister for industry, tourism and economy
General secretary of PP Cantabria.
Baker (you were right, again, Mr.Celtiberico)
Chief scout for Racing. 
Put it this way hes been on more scouting missions in the last 8 years than Baden Powell managed in his whole life.


Posted on 27/11/2012

Cat amongst the pigeons.

So much for the ex monk rally driving ex president who is still has a president sticker on his office at the club next door to the other squatting president who also has a president sticker on his door. 
Its getting confusing this.

Well hes just been landed a bill by the poor sods who are trying to sort out the previous violin fiddlers who've been munching their way through club funds.

5,000,000 euros give or take a few bob.

Included in this are:

1 million that disappeared when they bought Tchité from Anderlect.
825,000 that went missing in the purchase of Smolarek from Borussia.
725,000 that fell into somebodys pocket from the sale of Zigic to Valencia.
600,000 that flew from the sale of Garay to RM.
If that wasn't enough they've found 2 paid invoices for that last one.
Plus the good old hire and fire friends (Campos) as board room. buddies and pay em plenty of compensation for doing nothing and then hire them again. 200,000 euros.
Merino got 100,000 and not a receipt in sight.
The ex monks Audi 84,000 euros.

Add to this all the journeys to Brazil (8) to sign players that never appeared.

The article fails to mention these lot keeping afloat the kitchen/wardrobe suppliers and the shiny shoes and handbag shops in Santander.

Plenty of nosh ups as well.

This Sundays game gets juicer by the day.


Posted on 19/11/2012

Asalto al palco. The blame game.

While the fans were protesting and the good people of santander were out and about on saturday evening we had our heads down long into the night working on the prototype for a new board game (pun intended) that we hope to have out before the xmas shopping rush. A stocking filler must for Racingistas the world over.

Its based on the typical war strategy of medieval games with 200,000 euros PAsquatters, manager on tightrope, players having ball recognition classes, owner missing in action, the press pack howling, disgruntled fans, pitch invasions, ransacking the presidential suite, riot police, judges, lawyers, bankers, unpaid turf suppliers, regional politicians with their head in the sand etc. A set of the dices are loaded as well. (One of mine that last idea).

The most telling image that appeared this week end though is this one of the squatters zone when Campos seems to have just emitted a result from one of Harry's paellas. This doesn't seem to bother anyone around him as they are probably quite familiar with this syndrome. The woman off to the right seems quite amused about it. Must be her 1st time.

The real worrying thing though is the 3 men in black sat at the back. Who are they? Mister Alis spies, bodyguards, well dressed vultures (cobradores del frac) or local funeral directors looking to drum up a bit of business.

Campos went home at half time so as to avoid the protests or maybe he just followed through in solidarity with Racing moving back into the drop zone.

After the game the angry mob awaited the remaining squatters but took time out to applaud the Villarreal players onto the bus and out of the car park. This was to thank them for not netting a hat full in the 2nd half as they blazed every chance wide so as to avoid rubbing salt into the now festering wound.

Amazingly nobody seems to have noticed the most damning stat from the game. The possession %:
Villarreal 82%
Ball boys 10%
Racing 8%

Dire stuff. 
Fat laden, paprika flavoured, air dried sausages - out.


Posted on 12/11/2012


Warning major rant. Mainly because last weeks blog shut up shop midday Thursday.¿Porque?

3 weeks ago I posted a link to the local paper which was a break from the normal reporting of dead dolphins on the beach, wildlife park elephant pregnant, capercaillie gets head stuck in gate etc. As mentioned at the time the likes have never been seen.

Well last week the hacks went into overdrive. First we had this article about the pseudo presidents (PP) new pay slip - 199,000 Euro PA plus expenses I guess.

Basically "Harry" owns 2 bars in Suances you know the type stodgy paellas made with rancid squid that leave you shitting through the eye a needle for the nest 4 days. In the above link you can see the exact affect one of his paellas has had on his right hand man. How much is he on?, plus there are another 5 of them.

This mob just kicked down the front door at the club walked in set up shop (with nice new offices) put a president sign on the door next to the other door that also says president - 2 presidents. If you ring the club up and ask to speak to the president one of the army of receptionists (friends of the magnificent 7) replies "which one."

Last month Racing paraded out their latest signing a new director of institutional relations. Nobody has yet explained to me what this person does in a club apart from get paid on time and sticks his hand in the air whenever everyone else does.

Last week the latest signing made his appearance. Emilio de Dios the new sporting director who has promised to "work every day" (surely he should take the 7th day off) and to bring "normality" to the club (good luck with that). So can we expect a policy based on ostias y vino? De Dios worked for 7 years at Sporting so maybe he has been brought in to negotiate the next 0-0 love in between the 2 clubs.

If that is not enough Harrys Mob tried to get anyone with 0.001% of shares in the club banned from any meetings. Then the regional tin pot president stepped in and said his government are not going to do anything about the situation at the club. Not that theyve done anything about anything anywhere ever. Hence the overkill on the situation at Racing.

These meetings take place at the local 5 star hotel real of course. Wonder what the bill will be on that one if they manage to get the plebs banned.

There was one little article about the manager. At Fridays press conference he just said "this week the team picked itself" and went onto lose 1-0 in Girona.

O yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo lé

Posted on 06/11/2012

Fabri El Fabuloso - (in this part of the woods anyway).

Good weekend as far as Racing were concerned. A home win over Alcorcón who were 3rd before the game.

Not so good was certain sections of the crowd (6,500ish referees) when 2-0 up (both good goals) they started the "Fabri vete ya."

Whats all that about. Of course this only serves to pump up the opposition who go and score a goal and its bobbing it until the final whistle.

Theres me thinking what do these people want.

Conclusions gathered -

1. Would rather be in the bar watching Barca (same KO time) but me dad/mum/mates/girl/boy friend made me come and its pissing it down.

2 Still grieving because RM are 8 points behind.

Medication - Get behind the team/manager and stop acting like a dick.

At the post match press conference Fabri was asked, again, about the vete ya chants and this time he just raised his eyebrows an extremely long way up his forehead. Hes had plenty of practise at that in his career.

I have been trying to imitate his expression for 2 days and not even got half way. Had to stop today as I think I pulled a muscle.

OFabris the man .

Posted on 30/10/2012

Ah well back to the real world.

After last weekends goal drought this week in segunda there was a flood. 29 in total with only 6 teams failing to score. Needless to say Racing were one of them losing 1-0 at leaders Elche. Back in the now familiar drop zone.

Not been the best of weeks either for Mister Fabri. First he walked out of a press conference after being asked "how long do you reckon you'll last." Not really a nice question. An opinion poll in the local press voted 88% on yer bike. Then he gets this reception from the Elche supporters who don't seem very happy about his stint at the club.

I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for the bloke. All the shit he must have to put up with the headless and inept bottom feeding free loaders doesn't really bear thinking about. If they get well beaten at home on Saturday (against 3rd placed Alcorcon) he may well be homeward bound. As they say in Spain he will be eating his winter almond/cereal chocolate coated bar in the comfort of his own living room.

Tonight is the supporters groups "idea storm" to celebrate the centenary season. What is there to cheers us on. Struggling in 2nd, looking at relegation again, the team playing nothing resembling football, deflated and disgruntled fan body language, internal turmoil, MOT due on the now worn out bus and a long etc.

Oshed a tear.



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